“I’ll go upstairs to rest,” Jasper lied. He would go to the forest. He would search for the missing part of himself that he was pretty sure was there.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Kali, who’d been resting by Jasper’s feet, lifted her head.
“Look! The raven is back!” Leo let out a laugh.
Everyone in the bakery turned. A big black raven stood on the windowsill. Leo had seen the raven in the alley behind the bakery the day before and fed it.
Tap. Tap. Tap.Its black beak rapped against the glass.
“Clever bird is back for more food.” Leo grabbed some seed and went out to feed it once again. Kali lowered her head and returned to dozing.
Jasper turned his attention back to the shortbread cookies he was making. When they were ready, he took them over to the oven.
Jasper put them in the oven and closed the door. “I’m going to go upstairs. Can you take out these cookies when they are done?” he asked Trent.
Trent nodded. “Of course. And I’ll bring up your elothea tea tonight.”
“Thanks.” Jasper walked to the back door.
The others called out their goodbyes as he exited.
Trent had been the one to offer to get the elothea seeds for the tea the healer had prescribed Jasper after the accident. A couple of months ago, Jasper had suggested he could go buy the elothea seeds to make his own tea. But Trent said he enjoyed visiting the Aquatic Horticultural Emporium where he got the seeds. He said the plants were interesting.
Jasper didn’t understand how aquatic plants could be so interesting that Trent would want to go every single day to the emporium. But he had let it slide. Since the emporium wasn’t on the way to the forest, it would mean he’d have less time in there if he went and bought them himself.
And since Trent already bought the tea, it made sense for him to make the tea for Jasper too. Especially since Trent was always so keen to help out.
Jasper paused and looked through the window into the bakery. His gaze fixed on Leo. His throat tightened. He wished he didn’t need to lie to his twin. He wished he didn’t have to hold things back. He wished he could be as he had been before the accident.
But that had changed something in Jasper. And it had created a rift between them.
Although Leo would head over to the Christmas markets soon, it didn’t look like he was about to leave. In fact, none of them looked like they were about to leave the bakery.
He strode down the alley, straight past the stairs leading up to the family apartment. Kali trotted along beside him, familiar with their daily routine. If anyone had come out into the back alley, he’d have gone upstairs, waited for them to leave, then headed to the forest.
His breath came faster. His heart beat rapidly. How could walking fast be so taxing on him?
Once he left the alley, he slowed and got his breath back. It was best if his family didn’t know he went to the forest almostevery day. They’d just worry and ask questions he didn’t know how to answer. They particularly wouldn’t want him going out there in winter.
Thankfully, no one tended to check on him throughout the day. They all worked. But if they did come to his room, he’d just say he’d been out walking. Not in the forest. Just in the city. That way they wouldn’t worry so much. Still, the more questions he could avoid, the better.
Jasper turned down a main street. The snow fell heavier. He pulled his coat tighter around himself. He pressed his lips together. His body and head ached. But he had to push through. He had to go to the forest. If he didn’t, he’d just lie in bed, feeling that unending need to return to the forest and search.
He’d be back before Trent came with his tea. Leo always stopped by sometime after to check in on him and stare at Jasper with worry in his eyes. He sighed.
He reached the city’s edge. Bare trees and shrubs replaced buildings. Slush-covered cobblestone paths turned to pristine snow.
He paused as he stared at the forest. Already he could feel the headache becoming soothed somewhat. His body felt lighter. Breathing came easier. He didn’t magically recover when he returned to the forest. But for some reason, he always felt better here.
He could manage walking a few hours before exhaustion took its toll on him. He leaned down to pat Kali. “Maybe today I’ll find what I’m looking for.”
Kali blinked up at him.
“I doubt it though. After all, I haven’t found it any other day. But I can always hope.” Then he and Kali stepped forward into the forest.
Chapter
