Then again, in this society where women were few in number, it wasn’t surprising that finding a partner was considered a serious matter.The big question was, what would a male in such a society do if the only available woman from the ground wasn’t willing to beclaimed?
I glanced back at the vast choice of swords on the wall.I then followed Samuin inside what turned out to be a spacious bathroom.
At the sight of a medieval-looking toilet in the left corner, all thoughts of how to stop Xaniban’s advances evaporated.I was entirely consumed by the need to pee.The seat, dark-blue like the cloudy tiles around me, had my undivided attention.
“I shall leave as soon as I fill the bathtub for you, my lady.”
Yeah, my need for privacy was that obvious.“Thank you, Samuin,” I said as I went to take a peek down the small hole at the center of the toilet seat.I could see stars twinkling down there.No plumbing in the clouds, apparently.
I turned in time to see Samuin pulling a thick rope that was hanging from the ceiling.Which, in turn, was as cloudy and pinkish as the war room’s ceiling, with glowing spots to provide light inthe windowless room.Mere seconds later, the section of the ceiling above the oversized bathtub of golden porcelain turned blue.Then it started raining over the tub.
“Holy crap.”
“Do not worry, the water is quite warm,” I was duly informed.“The shower is powered by a tropical storm cloud.”
“Sure, of course.”Incredible.“You know, I don’t care what the water temperature is,” I admitted with a longing look at the quickly filling tub.“I haven’t taken a bath in half a year.”
We did have electricity at the bunker, but the water reserves were limited, so showers had to be rare and quick.Before finding shelter there after the third apocalypse, I had tried washing up in a river, only to emerge bloody and terrified.And with a new entry for myWorst Ways to Die in an Apocalypselist: death by mermaid.
“I have heard stories of how bad the situation on the ground is,” Samuin told me.His tone remained cooly polite, but there was sympathy in his gaze my way.“You are safe here, my lady.Try to relax the way you did before the war.Here, the view will help.”
Two tugs at the rope, and the pink cloud above my head started getting paler and paler until it became transparent.Overhead lay the night sky, stars glittering all over.With the blue walls around me and the dark above me, it was as if I were floating among the stars.
“Holy crap, yes?”
I looked Samuin’s way.A slight smile was playing on his lips.
Finally!I had broken his icy exterior, and by teaching him swear words.I grinned and nodded.Now I knew what Xaniban had meant by saying women were impressed by the view of the night sky from his homecloud.I could stay in this bathroom forever.
Shortly after, Samuin announced that my bath was ready.The tropical cloud above the tub was now replaced by a view of the starry sky.
“Enjoy yourself free of concern, my lady.The patrols above cannot see you as the ceiling is transparent only from this side.”
“Good to know,” I mumbled, acting as if I had always known there were gargoyles flying over my head.As dark-blue as they were, they blended into the night completely.
“I shall leave you to your preparations.”Samuin headed for the door.“Your new attire will be waiting for you on the chaise lounge.”He stopped at the exit, looking as if he was contemplating whether to say something more or not.
“Yes, Samuin?”
That did it.“Please, put the robe on,” he spoke softly.“My liege prefers to take it off personally–not be welcomed by a naked female in his bed.Just some advice, my lady, because I–I approve of you.”
“Um, thanks.”It was kind of him to help me win his king over, but what I really needed was help pushing Xaniban away.
Actually, Samuin still might be of assistance.“Did your liege throw out those women, displeased by their nudity?I wouldn’t want to make a mistake that gets me rejected–er, unclaimed.”
“My liege chooses his females carefully,” Samuin said reassuringly.“He does not bring every compatible and willing person to his bedchamber.If a female is here, she is special.”
That wasnotwhat I needed to hear.
“He is not displeased by such overeager females,” Samuin specified, “but he does not claim them more than once.Consequently, I have had to escort some very angry humans beyond the palace walls to keep them at bay.Thankfully, those who chose to stay on the homecloud quickly found claiming partners or even their mates, so they did not cause trouble for long.”
I was close to bursting into laughter.I was picturing a mob of crazed women scaling the defensive wall for one more night with Xaniban.For just one more ride on his magical gargoyle dick, or whatever hid under his loincloth.Come on now.
“I hope I do not have to escort you off the premises,” Samuin added.“I’d prefer you stay and teach me modern ground words.”
I smiled at him.Behind the cool, detached exterior might hide a sweetheart.“I’ll see what I can do,” I said cryptically.
“My lady.”He bowed and closed the bathroom door behind him.
