“Wait. Four months ago?” My brows bunched, and my face went blank. Was he saying this should have happened the night I heard him I was too big to date?
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Shut down like that. I know you heard me that night.”
“Heard what?” I asked, pulling away, not that Onyx let me go far.
“Be the biggest lying asshole in the world,” he stated like law. I blinked. It was nice that he was taking credit, but I had an itch to push him further.
“How?” I pressed further. But instead of looking annoyed with me, he pulled me back into his arms and dipped his head and dragged his nose against mine.
I pressed fully, expecting him to get annoyed of frustrated with me. But instead, he stepped forward and latched his hand with mine, his long, calloused fingers tangled with mine.
“I shoved my fucking foot, boot and all, in my mouth that night, and it feels like I haven’t been able to pull it out completely since.” I blinked as my brain slowly processed his words.
“Onyx.”
“The guy I was talking to had been eyeing you. Checking you out,” he started to explain.
“Yeah, right, the guy was?—“
“And when he started asking me about you, I’ll admit, I wanted to fucking punch him.”
“Because he was interested in me?” My lips twitched, but then I felt myself get serious as things started to fall into place.
“I’ve known him for a while. He’s an okay guy but not the kind of man who deserves a chance with you. He’s a player. All he usually wants is to hook up.” As protective as I wanted to believe he was trying to be, there was something about the whole thing I really didn’t like.
“So, you insulted me to get him to lose interest?” I shook his hand out of mine and stepped back, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “It was the stupidest, most regretful thing I’ve ever done in my life, Candy. That’s not the kind of man I am, and I’m not really sure why I did that. Fuck, I’d kick a guy’s ass for even thinking of treating one of my sisters that way. I regretted it the moment the words slipped out, and when I turned around, I knew you’d heard me.”
“But then you let me believe it? For months?” He scratched his scruffy square jaw.
“I did. I had my reasons, snowflake.” He stood straight, as if bracing for my reaction. “The next day, I walked into the hardware store, thinking I’d focus on my house instead of the way I woke up reaching for you that morning, and boom! There you were.”
“Well, sorry to inconvenience you!” I half-shouted, stepping away further, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew if he wanted to, he could crowd me before I’d blink. The distance was an illusion, if the way he was looking at me was anything to go by.
“What were your reasons? To letting me think…”
“I’m not good enough for you.”
“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes, and a muscle under his jaw twitched. “Don’t give me that. That’s just the nicer way of saying it’s not me, it’s you when?—”
“Jesus Christ,” he growled, and just like I knew he could, he rushed me. One moment, we were almost completely across from one another, and the next, I was in his arms, my head tipped back, looking into his bottomless dark gaze.
“You deserve someone who will give you what you need when you need it. My life is about the brewery, and the thought of starting something with you and not having time to give it to you kills me. Not to mention the fact I’m a hell of a lot older than you.”
“You’re only eight years?—”
“Shut it, snowflake,” he muttered, dragging the pad of his thick thumb across my bottom lip. “You deserve a man who could lay the world at your feet, and I hardly have ten minutes of time to paint my damn kitchen. But for you. I’ve done it four times now.” My lips twitched. “Once a month, gorgeous, I go in there and order paint. From you. I redo my kitchen all the whilethinking about you. Dreaming about you. Jerking myself raw knowing I shouldn’t, but fuck me, I can’t get myself to stop.”
“That sounds… like a problem.”
“You have no idea,” he clipped, dragging in a deep breath. “I’m really sorry about what I said. And I hate that I let you think that’s how I felt about you when it wasn’t even close to the truth. I fucked up, Candy. I was trying to protect you from him and from myself.”
I opened my mouth to tell him it was okay and thank him for his apology, but he kept talking, “But the last time I was heading to the store to get more paint?” I stilled, slightly melting into his embrace. “You came to me. You let me be there for you, and fuck me,” he rasped, his forehead lightly touching mine, “I want to be that man for you. For the rest of my goddamn life.”
