I wasn’t surprised—I was learning you could take the AI out of the computer, but not the math out of the AI.
I bit my lower lip. “What number would make him happy?”
Nex’s eyebrow rose. “Any number I gave him would only please him if it were true.”
I pushed my plate aside so I could lean forward on my elbows. The best thing about being with Nex was that I didn’t have to worry about hurting his feelings, as long as whatever topic it was was up for discussion. He liked to work things through, and he was never frustrated with me.
“What does he want, Nex?”
“Primarily, to love you. After that though…he would like for you to love him. Like you love me.”
I nodded, because I’d had a suspicion that was always where this’d conversation would be going. “How does that make you feel?”
Nex considered himself briefly. “Anxious.”
“Why?” I quickly asked, wondering if we’d broached a new feeling.
“Because of how badly his feelings will be hurt, if you don’t agree,” he said, staring off into the middle distance, thinking. “He’ll understand, of course, and he’d never want you to do anything you didn’t want to, but—I wouldn’t say that he’s jealous of what we have. But I would say that he’s lonely.” Nex took another long moment to consider things. “I love him, too, in a different fashion from you—and his loneliness hurts me.”
I reached across the table to take his hand and hold it. “In a perfect world…what would loving him look like?”
I couldn’t exactly see Xen taking me out to a movie, he couldn’t eat, and he was far too heavy for most beds.
Then again though, I was fairly certain he could get us Netflix, he could cook for me if he wanted to, and the bed thing…that could be fixed.
“He wishes he could spend more time with you. He would like to see that you were safe, with his own sensors, not just mine. And…” Nex said, then paused—and that’s when I realized I was getting answers straight from the source, he was telling me what Xen wanted, real-time, not just guessing—and that whatever Xen wanted next had made Nex hiccup. “He wishes to put things inside of you too.”
I bit my lips again, smiled, and nodded. I had a feeling that the entire rest of my life was going to be better if I just dove in fully and accepted experimentation—knowing that neither one of them would ever hurt me.
“He’s built himself an insertible,” Nex said, suddenly looking peeved as I blinked. “He based it off of me—and says he’d added some improvements.”
“Yes—well…” I began slowly, trying to school my face and not blush or snicker.
Nex’s brow furrowed. “I’m not letting him put anything into you that I have not approved first.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not either,” I said, squeezing his hand to appease his dignity. “That said though,” I went on, beaming, because this was my life now, fuck it. “I do want to see.”
Xen arrived at our cabin a few hours later, and I was surprised to see that he’d changed his face since I’d last seen him.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked me immediately, his entire bearing one of concern.
“Now that you’re here, yes,” I said, giving him a warm hug—but he was freezing, from having been outside in the cold. “Oh my God!” I squealed, and he picked me up, carrying me straight to the cabin’s fireplace.
“I should’ve warned you,” he chastised himself, before setting me directly on the thick rug in front of it. It took him longer to settle himself beside me—he was the size of an armchair. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be! I’m notthatfragile.”
“Don’t I know it,” Nex said, from behind me, coming up with a warm blanket.
I wrapped myself in it—I was still in my soft morning pajamas—and turned to Xen. “You changed your face!”
He’d gone from the very sci-fi looking matte black cylinder he’d had on the boat to something much more human looking, with definite eyes, cheekbones, and a strong jaw—and even sculpted hair.
Xen nodded deeply. “It has been an ongoing project. I would appreciate your input on it.”
“You were perfect before, I promise,” I said, smiling. “But if this makes you happy, it makes me happy, too.”
“I think I enjoy having more of a face. It is slightly less ominous, but it makes it easier for others to know when I am teasing.”
