I turn back to him, and suddenly we’re too close in the dark cab of the truck, heat rolling between us despite the cool winter air just outside. His hand lingers on my arm, and his eyes drop to my mouth, just for a heartbeat, before he drags them back up to mine.
Every muscle in me goes still. One move, one breath the wrong way, and I’d lean across the console and taste him again. I want to. God, I want to. But I don’t. And neither does he.
His hand falls away, leaving a ghost of heat in its place as he clears his throat, pushing his door open. “Come on. It’s late.”
I swing my door open and jump out, regretting it instantly when I slip on a patch of ice and land on my ass with anoomph. Turns out I’m definitely not just tipsy, I’m drunk as a skunk.
“Maisy?” Sterling’s worried voice calls out as he rushes to round the truck. “Are you hurt?”
I groan, embarrassed. “Just my pride,” I mutter as he helps me to my feet, and suddenly we’re too close again.
My palms rest on his chest as he holds me steady by my arms, and I’m looking up into his deep brown eyes that are only inches away from my face. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but every reason for why I shouldn’t kiss him right now escapes me, and I reach up cupping his cheeks as I stand up on my tiptoes to reach his mouth.
But before I can make contact, he pulls his face out of my hands and releases my arms, taking a step back, clearing his throat. The mortification hits me instantly, and I know I’m beetred as I look at him confused, dropping back down to the balls of my feet.
“Right, well I’m going to go inside and cry myself to sleep,” I say, flashing him a forced smile as I turn to run inside.
Sterling grabs onto my elbow, stopping me from getting far. “Maisy, just wait a second,” he says, his voice gently pleading.
“Why should I?” I ask, my embarrassment turning into anger.
He lets out a deep sigh as his eyes search mine. “I didn’t step back because I don’t want to kiss you. Trust me, it’s all I can think about. But you made it very clear three years ago, to me and to your brother, that you and I are done.”
I almost interrupt him, but he gives me a look that has me biting the insides of my cheeks to keep my mouth shut as he continues.
“I don’t know if this is how you normally get when you’ve been drinking, because this is my first time being around you when you’re like this, so I don’t want to let you do anything you might regret in the morning. I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
As angry as I want to be, his reasoning for rejecting me is sweet and such a Sterling answer that I can’t stay mad at him.
I nod calmly. “I’m sorry, you’re probably right. Let’s just go inside so I can sleep this off.”
He lets my arm go, sliding his hands into his pockets as he studies me. “You’re not still planning to cry yourself to sleep, are you?”
I give him a half-grin and turn. “Maybe just one lone tear,” I say over my shoulder as I head inside.
I hear him chuckle low behind me. “Don’t waste your tears on me, Mais.”
Mais.
That’s the second time he’s called me that, and hearing that old nickname makes my eyes sting. He doesn’t know that I still cry myself to sleep some nights when I think about him. About how I pushed him away. About how I woke up one day only to find out he actually left, not just me, but the town. About how I was forced to hear the rumours of him physically moving on with other girls too, while I was here unable to even think about moving on without feeling physically sick.
It’s been one slow heartbreak after another when it comes to Sterling, but I won’t let him know that. He’d beat himself up over that knowledge and it wouldn’t be fair to him.
He had every right to move on.
Even if I can’t.
NINE
STERLING
Maisy is different today.We’re back on the mountain for another lesson, but instead of the snappy, sarcastic Maisy that I’m used to, she’s quiet. I want to believe her when she says it’s just the hangover, but I know her well enough to know it’s because of what happened between us when we got home last night.
She went in for a kiss, and honestly if she hadn’t been drinking, I would’ve let her. I would’ve pulled her body flush against mine and poured everything I had into that kiss. I’d show her just how much I want her. How much I never stopped wanting her.
But I’m not like that.
I won’t take advantage of someone who isn’t sober enough to make smart decisions. And after everything Maisy said when she broke up with me three years ago, kissing me definitely wouldn’t have been a smart decision.
