“Aye. I do not want what I say to hurt you, though.”
My stomach lurches. Has his patience run out? Does he not want to be my mate anymore? Is he…divorcing me, or whatever the equivalent of that is on Tavikh?
“Breathe,keeshla,” Katem coaxes.
I do what he says, although it’s harder than it should be and not only because of my compromised lungs. Finally, I breathe normally, but that sick sensation continues swirling in my stomach. “What have you been thinking about?”
How I manage to sound normal is beyond me, but the question comes out with far more calmness than I’m feeling inside.
“You have told me you do not care for seeing healers, but I was wondering if perhaps you would be willing to let Vornak examine you?” he asks. “I do not know what type of healing you have on Earth, but the Bohnari have much technology. Perhaps he might be able to offer some type of remedy for this cancer you carry.”
The thought of having one more person tell me what I already know is a depressing one. I don’t want to be sad anymore, butthe hopeful expression on Katem’s face makes my heart ache at the thought of disappointing him.
“Can I think about it?” It’s a huge decision and I don’t want to commit to saying yes and then change my mind.
He strokes my cheek. “Of course. I have been torn about speaking to you about it, because I would never do anything to hurt you.”
I lay my hand over his. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“If you decide you do not wish to see Vornak, I will honor your wishes and never suggest it again.”
“Thank you.”
We return to eating and while I somewhat contribute to our conversation, I’m not fully here with Katem. The hope Alesha sparked to life has been stoked by my mate. I want to be angry with both of them for it, but I can’t bring myself to do so. Could this Bohnari healer have some machine that can keep me alive? Am I only setting myself up for more anguish by even wondering?
I’m not going to worry about it now. When they show up is when I’ll make my decision. I’m not sure I can emotionally and mentally handle being told once again that I’m still dying.
Chapter 18
Piper
I step back from the vase that just finished firing and stare at it, admiring its misshapen top because it’s still something I made with my own two hands. Not even the hammering Zara is doing can distract me from my study. Already I can picture the flowers I want to put in it and how it will look in our tent sitting on the table with the basin of water Katem and I use to wash up before bed.
“You did well,” Alesha compliments from just behind me.
“I’ve had a great teacher.” I pivot to face her.
“A teacher is only as good as her student.”
“Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”
Alesha clasps my hands. “It has been my honor.”
I sniff back the tears, because this feels like goodbye. Along with the shefir and shefira, she knows I’m dying. With my permission, Katem told them and, yesterday, I told Alesha. Shenodded as if she’d guessed already, and when she hugged me, I nearly broke down. Instead, I managed to hold my tears back until Katem and I went to bed and he was able to hold me while I bawled. Every time I woke throughout the night, I was still wrapped in his arms, including this morning.
“Everything okay?” Zara calls out.
Alesha releases me and we turn to the other woman.
“Just bragging about my creations to my excellent teacher.”
“Would you believe I had one of those, too?” Zara laughs.
Honestly, I’d been surprised by learning how patient Benham had been with her, considering his stern appearance. I know Maeve called him a marshmallow, but he’s still a rather intimidating guy.
“Young Benham has always had a soft heart behind the gruff exterior,” Alesha says.
Zara and I share a smile, because the woman has a habit of calling everyone in the village young. Even Zara’s mate Kyler who’s only about ten years younger than the elder Tavikhi.
