With that thought in my head, I lean in and press my mouth to his. He’s called it mouth touching a few times, which always makes me smile. I have no idea who came up with the word kiss, because mouth touching makes far more sense. When his tongue teases me to open, I forget all about words and their origin. All I can do is feel. And feel, I do.
Sensations such as desire, want, and need wash over me. An ache begins low in my belly that only Katem will be able to make go away. I thread my fingers through his hair and tilt my head to deepen the connection between us. The pleasure that began as a slow boil erupts into an explosion that courses through my veins. My skin feels too tight. My nerves twitch with a sort of needy anticipation.
I’m vaguely aware that this isn’t the place for this, but I can’t stop. I don’t want to. Because, when I stop I’ll blurt out my secrets and everything will change. Katem will worry and hover and live with the constant fear that each breath is going to be my last. I’m doing enough of that for both of us. I wake up every morning and wonder if it’s the last sunrise I’ll see. The last meal I’ll eat. The last kiss I’ll receive. That isn’t a burden I want him to bear, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do it alone any longer.
“Piper? What is it,keeshla?” Katem’s concerned stare bores into me, but it’s blurry from the tears that fall down my cheeks.
Tears I didn’t even know I’d been shedding. My heart crumbles, because this not knowing isn’t fair to him. “I have something to tell you, but I don’t want how you see me to change.”
He cradles my head between his palms and gazes at me more intently. “Nothing you can tell me will make me look at you any differently. I will always see a kind, gentle, beautiful femalewhose smile lifts my spirits and brings great joy to my heart. Whatever your secrets are, you are still you. You are still Piper.”
“What if I told you I’m dying? That’s the real reason why it’s not safe for me to have children.” I breathe out the question and let it hang there, a heavy weight that threatens to crush both of us.
Katem blinks and the corners of his brow bones dip down like they do when he’s confused. “Dying?”
“I have something called cancer. It’s a sickness in my lungs that has no cure. That’s why I coughed up blood the other day. It’s why I’m never hungry and always tired. That’s why I made my list. It’s things I want to do before I die, which is going to be soon. Too soon. And then you’re going to die, because that’s what happens with Tavikhi, right? They die when their mates do? That’s what Nellora told me.” I push myself away from him, no longer able to bear the way he watches me. “Fuck, this is so unfair. Why, when I just found you, are you going to be taken away from me? Am I such a bad person that I’m being punished?”
Katem grabs my hands and holds them against his chest. “No! You are wonderful. Perfect.Keeshla, Piper, look at me.”
I shake my head in defiance.
“Piper,” he says it softly. Beseechingly.
My gaze meets his and what is shining from their depths makes my breath catch. The light he mentioned before—his soul light—shines brightly within the purple-black pupils. Within that brightness is an emotion I can only describe as…love. It doesn’t feel possible, but I’ve seen things on this planet I wouldn’t have believed until coming here. Things like fated mates and soul lights.
“We do not know what happens to a Tavikhi if his human mate dies. But, I have always known—and accepted—that when mykeeshlajourneys to the land of the goddess, I will go with her. It is not something to fear, because when I get there, we will be reunited. Not even death can separate a Tavikhi from his mate, even if she is human.” Katem kisses my forehead. “Whatever time we have left together, we will make the most of. Whether that is a single moon cycle or long after the recently born kits have grown and found their own mates. I will be with you for every turn now through eternity, either here or with our ancestors.”
Tears fall once again, but these are less with grief and more with the relief that I’m not alone any longer. My heart opens and love comes rushing out. It’s like a cycle of emotions that batter my insides, trying to reach every crevice that composes me.
“Why couldn’t I have met you sooner?”
Katem swipes his thumbs over my skin, wiping away the wetness. “We met at the most perfect time, because this is when Deeka brought us together. This is the path we have been placed on and the path we will follow, no matter where it leads.”
Words of love threaten to erupt, but I don’t want either of us to confuse them with gratitude. When I say them, I want there to be no doubt that I mean them with everything I am.
“You mean more to me than I can ever say.” It’s the most I can give him right now.
“And you, Piper, fill my heart and soul completely.”
I bring myself closer to Katem and press fully into his side. He lays his arm over my shoulder. I want to melt into him and become a single being. Take his strength and lean on it. He sayswe have nothing to fear from death, but I do. I fear missing out on time with him. I don’t say this though. My focus needs to be on the here and now. On living each day to its fullest. Slowly peace settles back over us. It’s fleeting so I will hold onto it for as long as I can.
“I know I still need to teach you how to swim, but what other tasks on your list do you wish to accomplish?”
I bite my lips before speaking, grateful that he’s trying to act like things are “normal”. “Do you know anything about tattoos?”
“My translator does not know this word.”
Gently, I reach out and stroke the mating marks that line Katem’s shoulder and run down his arm. “They’re like these designs—permanent—but made on our skin with ink and a needle.”
“That sounds painful.”
I chuckle. “I suspect it is, but I’ve still wondered about getting one.”
“This tattoo is a confusing custom to me, but if mykeeshlawishes for one, then I will do my best to make it happen,” he says. “Jodah is the best at crafting images. We can ask him if he would be able to do this for you. Do you know what design you would like?”
“I’ve actually been thinking about that, and I’ve considered maybe having a tattoo designed to match your mating marks. It could be like your goddess gave me my own when she chose you for me.”
Katem blinks. “You would place mating marks on your skin that were similar to mine?”
