She glanced out the window, the Vegas Strip rapidly disappearing behind them.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he huffed.
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That he could survive her. That she wouldn’t hurt him. That she was doing better, and maybe with a little more time…
But she would be lying to him and, perhaps worse, to herself.
It was already bubbling in a slow-moving panic attack in her throat—she wasn’t there.
“Can I be honest with you?”
Milo’s lips twisted. He already knew what she was about to say.
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“I know.”
Milo rested his hand on her knee, and this time, she left it.
“I’m a fucking mess,” she whispered, everything in her scattering to the walls of her chest as though a bomb had gone off. “You make me feel like maybe that won’t be the case one day. But today, it’s the truth.”
“Don’t get your hopes up too high, I’m not feeling particularly put together right now.”
“But whose fault is that?”
“Not yours.” He shook his head and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I knew I’d feel like this in the morning, and I still did it.”
“Regardless, the only reason I even wanted to stay with Matty and Sara was for a distraction. I needed to escape and I did. And trust me when I tell you I enjoyed every second of it. But at some point, I have to confront reality again. I have a house to deal with. I haven’t talked to my therapist in weeks. Things with Logan are worse than ever.”
She took a break to chug her water. She knew she would end up in the airplane bathroom soon enough, which she despised, but she also knew she would need a second alone or she'd end up hysterical and being dragged off the plane with a dozen phones in her face.
“I need to get my life together, Milo. And I won’t do it if I’m across the hall from the one thing that makes me forget about all of it.”
“Damn,” Milo said under his breath. “This is exactly the conversation I knew we’d be having, but it really sucks to hear it out loud.”
“Being an adult fucking blows.” She watched as he sighed twice, both times equally agonizing. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I wish we’d had this conversation in the last fifteen minutes of the flight and not the first.”
She couldn’t help it. The tears started rolling, peppered with laughter that came from somewhere she couldn’t identify.
“Baby,” Milo whispered, wrapping his arms around her. He pressed her face into his T-shirt and she inhaled slowly, all too aware that it would be the last full breath she took for a very long time.
“Sunflower girl!”
Hanna rolled her suitcase into the floral shop bright and early, her knees still aching from walking in heels all weekend.
She waved, feeling a little stupid.
“Oof,” the woman said, noticing Hanna’s puffy eyes. “Going through it, huh?”
Hanna sputtered a laugh, her heart aching with every breath.
“That obvious?”
“Not a lot of gals come here with packed bags and tear-stained faces.”
