I looked over at the old truck.I remembered when Dad bought it.He’d had his first successful year running the tree lot and invested back into it, getting a large enough truck to deliver trees to town, so it made it easier for some of the older people in the community.It had served him and I well throughout the years, but last year it had broken down on me just before the holiday season.I’d not had the time or the funds to have it repaired, so Gabe and Connor helped me get it into the barn, and I’d been saving for the repairs since.
“It would be nice to revive the old Potts Tree Farm truck.”I smiled, looking at the paint.It would need touching up.
“We’ll get it done,” Gabe said, heading toward his truck, Connor following.
I waved to each of them and then headed inside out of the cold, damp weather.After I ate and made a hot cup of tea, I made my way over to the couch with my laptop.I had a bunch of work to do for the community center, so I opened my laptop and got to work on the food order.As I picked up my notepad to make some notes, I heard something hit the floor.I made my note quickly and, with a sigh, looked down at my feet to see that pink camouflage Santa staring up at me.I forgot I’d tucked it into my notepad last night.
“What is that?”I heard Sarah ask behind me, then she came over and picked the card up off the floor, looking at it before handing it to me.
I looked down at the old worn card in my hand and let out a sigh before opening it up and reading it again.It was like I was torturing myself.
“This was in the bag that was delivered yesterday,” I muttered, letting out a sigh as memories of Noah immediately ran through my mind as I read what he’d written all those years ago, and as I stared at his words, guilt and regret filled me.
Regret because I never should have said I wanted to wait to marry him until he returned after we’d gotten news of his deployment.Guilt because I couldn’t imagine how he must have felt when I never responded through no fault of my own.It’s just I knew he’d been struggling with being away from home, and I could only imagine how he must have felt after I never answered him.
“It looks like a Christmas card.”
I sat there staring at the card, thinking back to that Christmas.
“That’s exactly what it is,” I said, closing it back up.
“Do you know who it’s from?”
“I do.”
“Who?It’s odd that a holiday card gets lost, isn’t it?”
“It is odd that it got lost.It is from someone who I used to be very close to.”
“What happened to them?”
I remembered going to the bus station the night I knew he was supposed to come home on leave in January.I waited long after the last bus had left for him, but he never appeared.I attempted to speak with the sergeant on duty, but they refused me any information, just saying he wasn’t on the list to come home.That night, after leaving a message with his parents, I immediately went home and wrote a letter to him.In fact, I wrote every week for the entire year and never got a response from him.
I had checked the mail every day with the same result.My mind began playing horrible tricks on me after a while.I’d think I saw him across the street, waiting outside the community center where I volunteered, and in various other places around town.Then came the day I was certain he must be dead, just like the young girl’s husband I’d helped at the center.The easiest choice for me was to accept that he’d been handed that horrible fate.No letters, not a word from him, and while I mourned him, I never truly let him go.
His parents, who had always remained distant from the community, continued that pattern.They refused to talk to me on the phone or in person, and then the following winter, shortly before Christmas, they moved out of town without a word to anyone.I found out only because my father had gone to deliver their tree and had found their house empty.
I spent most of that holiday season in tears, still searching for any word of Noah.Not that I hadn’t spent most of the year doing that, but this time I searched everywhere, including all funeral announcements from the past year, but there was nothing.It appeared he’d vanished off the face of the earth just like his parents.I’d even reached out to the military again, but they refused to provide me any information since I wasn’t a relative or his spouse.
A couple of years later, Noah’s parents returned to Willow Valley, and just like before, they kept to themselves.I, of course, had moved on, but every Christmas, memories of Noah haunted me—and still did.
Now, as I sat staring at this card, I knew I was wrong.It wasn’t a wonder his mother gave me the cold shoulder.I could only imagine what Noah had said to them, or perhaps he had said nothing and just told them he had never heard from me.
As time passed, I’d moved into a wonderful relationship with a man who lived on the outskirts of Willow Valley.As the years passed, that relationship fell apart, and then both my parents fell ill, and I moved back home and took over the farm.I dated now and again, but never got involved in anything serious.In fact, the last date I’d gone on had been a disaster, and I’d vowed not to be set up again.Shortly after that, Sarah moved in.
Even though I’d never truly known what happened to Noah, each time I thought about him, it made me wonder if what my mind had conjured up to protect me had been true.There was some reason I’d never truly accepted the fact that he’d been taken from this world.It was as if my heart knew he was still out there somewhere.
“It’s a complicated story,” I said, placing the card inside my binder.
I looked over at her, at the sad look on her face.
“Did your friend die, like my mom and dad?”
I smiled softly while fighting back the tears I could feel burning.“To be honest, Sarah, I don’t know.”
“Well, if you don’t know, then maybe you should try to find him,” she said, shrugging.
“I wish it were that easy, sweetie.I tried to find him once, a long, long time ago, but was unsuccessful.”
