“Yeah, I was just getting worried.Gabe and Connor came over and closed up the lot for me.”
“Great, okay, I will be home soon.”
“Okay, see you soon.Oh, and I put the lights on outside; it looks so pretty.Christmas is my favorite time here.”
I smiled to myself as I listened to her, and then the realization of what I had to tell her tonight hit me, making me feel sick to my stomach.Just before Noah had arrived at the community center I’d been told my application for adoption had been denied.
“Great, you can put the tree on too, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Already done!”
I hung up the phone, my eyes burning with tears as I shoved my phone into my purse.I’d held onto the hope that my application would be good enough after having Sarah live with me for so long.I’d provided her with a stable environment, given her the emotional support she needed, and had even recently gotten her help with Noah.I’d known that everyone in the community I’d placed on my list as a reference had spoken highly of me; however, it hadn’t been enough.This would be our last Christmas together, and it was going to break me to have to tell her.
“Mindi, I had an idea for next year with the tree farm,” Sarah said, slipping another piece of pizza from the box.
“Oh?”I said, that sick feeling coming back to me once again.
I’d done my best to clear my mind on the drive home, so that I could enjoy one of our last nights together.
“Yeah, I was looking at the stand tonight when I was out helping in the lot, and I thought maybe next year, we could do a permanent hot chocolate station.I mean, I know you bring that in once per season, but I thought it would add something special for people coming on out and getting their tree, especially for those who go out to cut their own.”
“Well, it’s something to think about.I’d just need to find someone who wouldn’t mind manning the part of it.”
“Well, I was thinking maybe I could do it.I mean, if that is okay with you.I’d be really careful, and I’d even ask if maybe Brooke and Tristan would allow me to come in and learn how to serve some hot drinks.”
I nodded, not sure how I was going to break the news to her that, come New Year’s Eve, she’d be leaving my house to move to an entire foster care center.
“Brooke told me it wouldn’t be a problem.She’d just put me behind the counter, and I could get hot chocolate from the dispenser when it was ordered.I could work at that and be ready for next season.Please?”
I picked a piece of pepperoni off my slice of pizza and shoved it into my mouth as she sat there, her eyes filled with excitement at the idea and hope I’d say yes.
“Maybe we could even set up a decorate your own Potts Tree Farm ornament.I was looking online, and I found someone who provides clay ornaments you can paint just like the ones we did at the community center this year.Here, let me show you,” she said, getting up off the couch and grabbing her tablet.
She sat back down beside me and turned the screen on and began showing me all the things she’d found, excitement filling her voice the more she talked about it.Then she looked over at me, her eyes wide, and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“I love living here, and even though this Christmas isn’t over yet, I am so excited for next year.I am going to take a bath before we watch the next movie.Thank you so much for loving me.”
I hugged her tight and then let her go, watching her head on down the hall.I sat there looking around the room.I’d made so many mistakes over the course of the last couple of years.The first one was not being forward with Sarah when she came to live with me about her future with me because somehow I’d always known it would come to this moment.I just wished it would have been the way I’d wanted it.
I leaned back against the couch and listened to the sound of the tub running down the hall.I closed my eyes, trying to figure out how I was going to tell her.I heard the phone ring but didn’t move.I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment.
I picked up my phone and opened my email, opening the letter that the general I’d met with earlier today had sent, outlining our conversation and all the upcoming information I needed about Sarah.
“Mindi, Ethan is on the phone,” Sarah sang, causing me to quickly shut my phone off.
“Oh, thanks.Go have your bath,” I said, taking the phone from her and smiling.
Once I heard the bathroom door close, I sat back down and lifted the phone to my ear.
“Hey, Ethan.”
“Mindi, what happened today?”he asked.
I let out the breath I was holding.I should have known he’d be calling me about the meeting.After all, he’d been at the center when the three men had arrived.I swallowed hard as I tried to form the words to tell him it didn’t go as planned.
“Ethan, I…” The lights on the tree in front of me blurred as tears formed in my eyes.
“What is it?”
