I studied her a moment, and then I held up the card.
The way the smile fell away from her lips when she saw what was in my hands, the way her eyes studied the card said it all.She didn’t need to explain anything, but still I wanted to hear it from her.I wanted to hear it from her she’d decided against marrying me.It was as if I wanted to punish myself all over again.
“So…you got it?”I said, my voice cracking as the words left my lips.
“Noah, please let me explain,” she said, scrambling off the bed and throwing a T-shirt over her head.
“Explain…” I huffed, looking down at that card again and then dropping it on top of the dresser.
“Yes, let me explain.”
“Explain what?That it was just easier not to respond than to tell me you didn’t want to marry me?”
“I just got the card a few weeks ago; it got lost.If you give me a minute, I will find the bag it came in, and the envelope.The address got smudged.”
I looked at the card and then over at her, frantically searching through a pile of papers she had on the other bedside table.
“You know, it was hard enough having to ask you the biggest question of my life inside of a damn card.”
She stopped rustling through the pile of papers and looked at me.
“I would never get to see your initial reaction to my question.I’d never get to see the surprise or the joy or the fear in your eyes.I’d never get to hear the yes, or hug and kiss you afterward.I was a million miles away in some hellhole country, waiting, praying, begging that you’d say yes.Instead, I never heard a word from you again.It tore my heart out.”
“I swear to you, Noah, if you just give me a minute to think…” she said, her hands covering her face.“I can show you…” she said, tears coming to her eyes.
I took another look at the card.It was perfect—not a tear, not a drop of dirt, nothing.I picked it up, opened it, looking for any signs of wear and tear, but there was nothing.
“Just stop, okay.It doesn’t matter.That card is in perfect shape, like you just pulled it from a box.It’s been ten years.If that card had gotten lost, it would be a mangled mess by now.Instead, it’s near fucking perfect.”
I dropped it back down on the table and looked over at her, still frantically searching through the pile once again.That was when I noticed the box of letters.I picked up the top one and recognized my handwriting on the envelope.Seeing the letters and the card together told me the only thing I needed to know.I grabbed my shirt, threw it over my head, and took off out of the bedroom.
“Noah, please, just look!”Mindi yelled.“The envelope, it’s all smudged, and here is the bag?—”
She grabbed my arm, pulling on me, trying to get me to turn around, but I refused.I slipped my feet into my boots, grabbed my jacket, and pulled the front door open.
“Noah, please….just let me show you…”
“You know what, I should have thought about this before, but I can’t do this with you.”
“You can’t do what?”she cried, stopping at the top of the stairs.
“This, us.I thought you were the same person I left all those years ago.I wanted to ask you about the card.I really wanted to believe it had just gotten lost.At least that was what I told myself.I wanted to believe that you’d not walk away from me the way you did.”
“I didn’t.I wrote to you every week for an entire year,” she cried.
“Mindi, please, it’s alright.The girl I know never would have left me hanging.She’d have gone to the ends of the earth to try to get in touch with me.She’d have written, she’d have answered even if she didn’t want to marry me.I’d like to believe she’d have let me down gently.Instead, now, my naivety has allowed me to be gutted once again.”
Tears filled her eyes as she stood on those stairs, clutching an envelope and plastic bag in her hand.I couldn’t stay and watch it.I didn’t say another word.I grabbed the handle of the car door and pulled it open.I cranked the key, fired the engine, and took off down the driveway.
Two Days Later
Exhaustion filled me as I climbed the steps up to the door of the Willow Valley Bed and Breakfast.I raised my arm and knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer.I was about to knock again when the door opened and Iris stood there grinning.
“Noah!Welcome.”
“Hey, Iris.”
“What do we owe for this pleasant surprise?How are you?You know you never have to knock.”She smiled, stepping aside to let me inside.
