About how he’d looked at me this morning with such naked fear in his eyes when I’d accused him of following some predetermined script and said I needed space.
The truth was, he’d been falling in love.
And so had I.
The realization clicked into place with a steadiness that surprised me.
I loved him, too.
I’d probably loved him since he’d stood in his kitchen that first day with Ava and me looking terrified but determined.
The algorithm hadn’t made me fall for him. I’d done that all on my own.
At five o’clock, the lights flickered and then came on. The heater kicked on with a rumble, and I almost cried with relief. I peeled myself out of my blankets and turned the thermostat up as high as it would go, then went to the kitchen to make tea.
As I waited for the water to boil, I stared out the back window at the ice-covered trees lit up by my neighbor’s annoying garage light.
I was terrified. Absolutely terrified.
This was probably too fast.
But then I thought about the way Luke had looked at me last night and whispered, “You have no idea,” when I’d said I was glad I could make his fantasy come true.
Then again, the way he’d looked me dead in the eye and said, “Yes, I love you,” when it was obvious he hadn’t meant to let that slip, the words seemingly torn from somewhere deep inside him against his will.
I didn’t need an algorithm to tell me what I already knew.
Now I just needed to make sure he knew it, too.
But first, I was going to set some boundaries. Because I couldn’t—Iwouldn’t—be with another man who lied about his feelings. I needed complete transparency, always, no matter how scary the truth might be.
If he could promise me that, then we had a chance.
If he couldn’t … well. At least I’d know.
The kettle whistled. I poured the water over a tea bag and carried my mug to my small kitchen table, wrapping both hands around the ceramic for warmth. I pulled out my phone and stared at Luke’s name for a long moment before typing.
Me
Can we talk tomorrow?
Are you free in the afternoon?
I hit send before I could overthink it.
His response came almost instantly.
Luke
Yes.
Whatever time works for you.
I smiled despite my nerves. The speed with which he’d responded told me so much. Luke had been waiting for me to reach out. He wanted this conversation as much as I did. No hedging, no “let me check my schedule.” Just immediate, earnest willingness.
That was so him.
Me
