Because every time I’ve come in the last two years, it’s been with her face in my mind. Greesha.
Always Greesha.
I could never—ever—let another woman replace that image. Not even for a moment.
And especially not while I was... inside someone else.
God. I’m pathetic.
I wasn’t even present for any of it. My body was there, sure. But my mind? My soul?
Somewhere else. With someone else.
Someone who no longer even exists.
I pull off theemptycondom and shove my now limp dick back into my boxers.
Rohi’s quietly fixing her lehenga and choli beside me. I noticed her hesitation earlier—how she never fully removed her clothes. Neither did she ask me to.
She’s always struggled with how she sees her body. Too thin, too small, too fragile. I’ve seen the way people talk to her—about her—like her body is something to be corrected. Even her own mother.
So I let her lead. I tried to be careful.
But now? She looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
Fuck.
Did I mess this up?
Did she notice how checked out I was?
I tried. I really tried to seem involved. But maybe I failed at that too.
“Are you okay?” I ask carefully, trying not to spook her.
“Yeah...” Her voice trembles. “I’m... I’m not sure we should do this again, though.”
There it is.
Relief floods me. Sharp and immediate.
But I hide it. She doesn’t deserve to see that.
“Why?” I ask, but the second the question leaves my lips, I see it—
The look in her eyes. The ache. The heartbreak.
Shit. I made her feel unwanted.
“I mean—I’m fine either way,” I add quickly, words scraping my throat—an acidic lie. “But... what’s in your head?”
She sighs. Deep and tired. “I guess I thought that maybe... doing this would fix something. That my brain would just stop screaming all those ugly things at me. It didn’t.”
And suddenly, it all makes sense.
Of course.Of coursethis wasn’t about me. It was about her. About her body. About ownership.
“Shit,” I mutter. “Listen, I’m all for you trying to reclaim sex on your terms. I get it’s hard—especially after everything people have said. And I don’t know what that...Luciandid. But—andplease don’t take this the wrong way—I think you’re confusing sex with intimacy.”
