I know my face is beet red and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, “The rooster says it’s time to get up.”
“Blue can yell his little heart out. I’m warm and you are way too easy to snuggle with. I think we should just stay here today.”
“Well, that’s one way of getting what you want.”
He leans his head down. “What do I want?”
“Me to do absolutely nothing.”
“Yes, I was thinking that very same thing.”
I hit him playfully on the chest and then startle when I realize what I did.
“Lauren, you just tensed up. What’s wrong?”
“I struck you. I’m sorry, I was … just … playing.”
“I never thought any differently. Stop worrying about every little action. If you do something I don’t like, I am man enough to tell you, and I expect no less from you. Am I making you uncomfortable, holding you like this?”
“No, … yes … honestly, I’m not sure. Never experienced anything like this before.”
“What?? That horse’s ass never held you?!”
“No! The only time he usually touched me at all was when … well, you know what he wanted. You are the first person to see me fully naked besides the doctor since I was a child. Oren andI seldom even slept in the same bed. He had a habit of coming in drunk and passing out in the chair in front of the fireplace. Which was just fine with me because I did my best to be as unnoticeable as possible.”
“Excuse my language, but what a fucking idiot! I did my best not to look when I made you strip out of those rags, but there was no missing your curves. Let alone that perfect, pear-shaped bottom and that perfect bosom that was only inches from my face were enough to tempt a saint. Let me guess, he threw up your skirts, did his deed and was gone, leaving you unsatisfied and a mess afterwards.”
“It’s improper to talk of such things.”
“You are mine and between us, there is nothing improper.”
“Well, in that case, then, it’s almost like you were there. But is that not the right way? I mean, I’ve heard rumors and others talking. I’m not a child and I know that coupling is different with each couple, but he was not interested in anything but my womb.”
“That’s the one thing I couldn’t care less about. If kids come, they come and if not, that’s fine as well. I have plenty of family to leave whatever we build together, either way. And let me clear this up without being crude or making you any more uncomfortable when we finally come to that point in our marriage … and we will. Your pleasure will always come before mine and your screams will echo throughout this valley, but not in a bad way.”
I know my eyes are huge as I’m clueless as to what he speaks of, but my body suddenly seems overly hot, and I can feel my pantaloons getting damp between my legs.
“Lauren, I am sorry for waking you up last night, but I will say it was worth it. Never dreamed I would get you in my bed this quickly.”
Shaking my head, I tuck my nose against his skin, trying not to laugh. “Stop being a rascal! I hate nightmares and many a night I wish someone would have woken me up.”
I’m not expecting his following words or interest.
“What do you dream about?”
“They have changed over the years. When I first got married, I would dream of being back home, father’s black eyes filled with the constant disdain he held for me.”
“I take it you were not fond of the man?”
“I hated him and every male around him, to be honest. Father rented a room out of our barn to travelers passing through, as there were no close inns or towns around, and people regularly found themselves on the wrong path. It was my job to keep it clean and take care of whatever the visitors needed. That ranged from food and more blankets to basic first aid. I would even tend to their animals if need be.
Not everyone who passed by was bad or even ungrateful. My sister Odette met her husband when he took a wrong turn one late stormy night. He promised he would come back for her and even though I didn’t believe it, all of us were shocked when a large carriage with a crest pulled up outside, and he got out. He took her away from that hell the very next day after marrying her in the local church.
I think in the back of my mind, I always wished my own hero would pull up one day and take me away from it all. Instead,the opposite happened. I made my father angry one night, don’t even remember what I did now, and the next thing I know, Oren is there, and father is handing him my bag. It was filled with the few things I owned, and he told him never to bring me back. I didn’t even really know who he was.
I’d only seen Oren in passing since he drove a delivery cart for the local lumber mill, but we had never spoken. The first night we were together, I couldn’t stop crying. I never dreamed father would do something like that to me; sell me off like a piece of unwanted beef. But that’s precisely what I felt like after Oren had his way with me.
Oren and father apparently took care of the wedding certificate before he came to collect me. No ceremony, no I do’s or even, an I will. He may have called me his wife, but it was just a name on a piece of paper that gave him the right to abuse me. My life has been a series of changes that I never had any control over. Most of the time, I feel like a puppet on a string, a toy someone is playing with and when they get tired of it, they discard it to go play with something new. Forgive me, I don’t know why all that just spilled out. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said even half of that out loud.”
