“Yes, well, I changed. One tends to when they are married.”
“I know that better than anyone,” he agreed, taking a seat and gesturing for her to join him. “I know that you may not wish to share personal matters with the husband of your friend, but you can trust me. It is not as though I spend much time with people to gossip with, regardless, after all.”
Anna laughed softly, leaning back. She knew that Damien was a trustworthy man and that she could tell him anything, and for once, she knew it was better to tell him than to tell Maria. Maria would mean well, but she would give Anna advice that she did not want. She did not want to be told what to do; she simply wanted to be listened to, and she knew that the man beside her could do just that.
“I envy you both,” she said simply. “I envy that you have this loving family, where you have two sons that are adored and a marriage that is so endlessly perfect that the only reason people can mock you is that you aretoogood.”
“I appreciate that that is how we are perceived,” he chuckled, “but it is not the truth. You know as well as I do that we had troubles of our own at first, and I will not pretend that most of them were not my fault. I had to change, and so did my wife, and it was only then that we found such happiness.”
“And what do you do when the person you married refuses to do that?”
He looked at her, blinking as though she was speaking complete nonsense.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I have changed completely for him. I stopped being the unhinged woman everyone thought that I was, and I have been nothing short of proper and dutiful, whereas he has been the same man all along. It is not fair.”
“You are mistaken. He has most certainly changed, and for the better, might I add.”
She folded her arms, knowing that she had been right to keep her troubles to herself, for nobody understood them.
“You are wrong.”
“On the contrary, I am right. You see, your husband is sitting in my drawing room with a sister that we did not know existed until now. He is not afraid to bring her into the light, which he never would have done before. He has changed, Anna, and I hope you know who has caused that.”
“He wanted her to come here before. She was the one who refused. Sophia has been the one to change her mind, not him. It is unfair, Damien, especially now that he is to be credited with it all.”
“I see. That bothers you, yes?”
“Of course! He has been able to do exactly as he pleased with no repercussions, and he is now being congratulated for it. I fail to see how that is a good thing.”
“And, as you have never been afraid to show how you feel, you will never fully comprehend it, but I can try to explain.”
Anna knew, as she sat beside a man she considered her friend, that she would not be brought around to his way of thinking very easily. She did not want to listen to his claims that Spencer was doing all that he could, that men were expected to behave stoically and therefore did not have space left for feelings. She did not want to admit that she wanted to be convinced.
But she did. She wanted to agree with him, to know that her husband was not trying to hurt her.
“Very well,” she nodded. “You may try.”
“As you know, I have never been the sort of man to open himself to others. I knew what could come of it, and I did not want to take that risk. Spencer is similar to me in that respect, and I can see him trying. He told you about Sophia because he trusts you, not because he had no other choice.”
“I do not know that I agree with that.”
“Then tell me this. If she did not want to come here, and he has always allegedly wanted her to, what made this time different? Can you not see that the two of you spent time together, and at last he forced her hand? That is the only thing about his life that changed, and now all of a sudden she is here.”
Anna had always thought that that had been because Sophia found out about her and had given in, but then she realized that that, in and of itself, was Spencer changing. He had not told his sister about his wife before either, which meant that Anna had to mean more to him than before.
Again, sitting there, she wanted to believe it. It was easy to fall for it all when she was with a man who wanted her to believe it, but any trust she gave would too easily fall apart once Spencer had to prove it himself.
“Suppose you are right. We can pretend that you are completely correct, and that is what has been happening. Even if he has changed, I do not think it is enough. He has not proven to me that he loves me, for he is not interested in doing so. He only cares for his duty and doing what is expected of him, which leaves me to one side. There is nothing that can be done with that.”
Damien sighed, rising to his feet and offering her his hand to help her up. She took it, knowing that she could not well hide in there forever. The time would come when she would have to face her husband, and there was no avoiding it.
“Perhaps you are right,” he acknowledged. “Perhaps I do not know what I am talking about. After all, I have only been in his position once before, swearing that the very last thing I wanted was to fall in love. Whatever could I possibly know about it?”
Anna laughed, in spite of herself. There was no malice to the Duke of Winterleigh, in spite of what people had thought of him before. He had his flaws, but he truly did love Maria, and that made everything else fade away. Anna supposed that Spencer would have been the same, had he loved her, but she had given him the chance to tell her that he did, and he refused.
Not only that, but he had refuted such a claim mere hours before he took her. If that did not tell Anna where she stood with him, nothing would. However, she could not divulge such information to the husband of her friend. She had to keep that to herself, which meant that Damien would have to believe that Spencer was only acting with the purest of intentions.
