“But you know how bound you are by your duty. No matter what she does, you will continue to put your duty to your family above your duty to your wife.”
“That is not because of my sister.”
“No,” Alexander said thoughtfully, his eyes locked on Spencer’s. “It is because of your father. Even in death, he is punishing you both.”
Spencer wanted to refute such a claim, but he could not. The truth was that his father was to blame for how Spencer viewed both women, and he wanted it to be different, but nothing that he did changed how he felt. Family had to come first. It was all that had ever mattered.
Although if that were true, he wondered why his father had washed his hands of Sophia from the moment he learned of her existence.
“I know what I am doing,” Spencer lied. “I have a good wife who understands my predicament, and a sister who does not. It is not neglecting my wife to care for my family.”
“No, because your wife should be your family, though I suppose you are forgetting that.”
Spencer left soon after, under the guise that he had planned to have his lunch with the ladies, but the truth was that he could not bear to hear any more. In allowing himself to build a closeness with Anna, he was making it so that he would inevitably hurt her even more, and though he had enjoyed their time together, he could not handle what it meant would eventually happen.
CHAPTER 28
“Ido not know what you see in my brother,” Sophia laughed softly as their horses walked along the path.
In spite of her demeanor, Anna wanted to like Sophia. She was a pretty girl, almost identical to Spencer, and she had the same stubborn pride as he did. Unfortunately, that meant that she was stuck between two people who were at times impossible to reason with.
“He is a gentleman,” she replied. “He knows what is expected of him, and he does it well.”
“With the exception of his not coming to do his duty as Duke.”
“Ah. He told you about all of that.”
“I did not give him a choice. I could not believe what I was hearing. He spends all of his time with me, as though I need it.”
“Do you… Do you not?”
It was a risk to ask such a question, for Anna knew that if she asked too much, a wall would be put up, but Sophia merely sighed and then laughed, albeit shakily.
“I would not say that I need him. It is easier with him there, for I can do more things, but I do not need him. Look at me now, for example. I am riding a horse even though I cannot see well. I must go slower than you, that is all.”
“It is true that you are capable. Would it be alright if I asked what the issue is?”
“Of course, I am not ashamed of it. It started when I was a girl, and it has gradually worsened. It is not that I am completely blind, but it is difficult to see things that are far away. If you close your eyes halfway, it is almost like that.”
Anna did as Sophia instructed, but only briefly, for she no longer felt safe on her horse doing so. Everything blurred, one shape blending into another until she no longer knew what she was looking at. It made her feel a great sense of unease, and she did not know how Sophia coped.
“I did not like that at all,” she gasped.
“It is not particularly nice, I will say, but you grow accustomed to it. I have told Spencer many times that I do not need him, andthat I am perfectly fine alone, but now that Gilbert is unwell, I have had to accept defeat. I never wanted to intrude, Anna.”
“I can see that. I think that, had either of us known of the other, this would have all been mended long ago. I do not know what my husband was thinking.”
“He was thinking that he could fix everything without either of us ever having to know what was happening. You may not know this, but my brother has a tendency to rescue people. He cannot help himself.”
The air was warm considering the time of year, and Anna felt herself lighten at the explanation for her husband’s behavior. However, there was that same familiar pang of envy, for if Spencer was so determined to help others, why not her?
“Might I ask you another question?” she asked tentatively.
“Do you wish to know how I came to be, or my son?”
“Both, but more so you. I know how a lady can come to be with child.”
“I am no lady,” she said quietly before straightening. “Well, Spencer and I have the same father. Thetonthought that the Duke and Duchess were a perfect match, and that they were happier than any other marriage in London, but they were wrong. The truth was that our father never loved a woman. He did not know how.”
