“Is that to say that you have nothing to say to me at all?”
“You know as well as I do that it is not. Of course I do. I simply think that it might be best that you do not refer to your husband as wuthering. Thetonalready sees you as eccentric, and if they were to know that you referred to him as that–”
“Is that not what he is?” Anna countered. “He blew away as if with the wind a year ago, and he never returned. What would you call that?”
“It is wuthering, of course it is, but polite society–”
“Is thispolite society? I thought that we were having a club meeting, at the very same club where Maria told us all of the spirited activities that have taken place on that very settee over there.”
She pointed at the settee in the corner as she said it, and Evelina shook her head, laughing softly. They were all the furthest thing from high society when they were together, which was precisely what made it so enjoyable.
“I know that you do not think it is wise,” Anna nodded, “but what else do I have to do? I cannot be one of those ladies who sit by the window waiting to see a carriage that will never arrive. I must do something with myself, and if that is gaining a reputation for my wicked and eccentric ways, then so be it.”
“Anna, you are so much more than that.”
“Am I worse? What a splendid idea. If I become too terrible, my absent husband may at last return in order to reprimand me. Could you imagine that?”
Her friend laughed sadly, and the matter was left alone. There was no changing her mind; Spencer was gone, and it was for the best that she treated him as though he were dead. It was less painful that way.
When Theodora and Maria returned, Theodora sat beside Anna once again, smiling brightly. She was but twenty years of age, but Anna admired her greatly. She truly did not want a husband andhad done everything in her power to remain unmarried. She had done well, too much to the disdain of her parents.
“Now that is all settled,” Maria announced, “shall we begin by discussing this week’s book?”
“If I am honest,” Anna said boldly, “the last thing that I wish to do is discuss a romance novel when I am four-and-twenty and have never once felt that same romance that any of the characters do. I don’t wish to replace an absent husband with mere words.”
“Did you read the book, Anna?” Maria asked. “I know that it is perhaps not the sort of thing you might prefer, but I thought you might enjoy it nonetheless.”
Anna sighed. “No, I have not. I did try, but it was so… it was so perfect. Nothing bad happened at all, and the husband and wife loved one another very much, and everything was all lovely and wonderful. That is not how life is.”
“Then why not find some joy of your own?” Theodora suggested. “You say that your husband is off with his mistress, so why not find a gentleman of your own to keep you company?”
The thought had crossed her mind more than once in the year since her wedding day, but she could not.
“This is where my pretending that he has died is paramount,” she explained. “If I saw him as a scoundrel, I would have noshame in doing as I pleased, but alas, I am a widow. I must honor my darling husband, instead, which means no gentlemen callers.”
“I still do not think that you should act like he is dead,” Evelina pressed, and Anna turned to her.
“Then what would you have me do? Society might not like it, but they should pass judgment over him, not me. I have not done anything wrong.”
“And I know that, but you and I both know that thetondoes not look kindly upon such behavior. I do not want you to do anything too precarious, not when you do not have a gentleman behind you to assist if the worst happens.”
“Evelina, you are a good friend to me, and I know that you mean well, but I have survived a year alone. I am perfectly capable of handling myself, and I will do so regardless of whether or not I face a lowered reputation. It is not as though anyone shall think too highly of someone in a position such as mine, regardless.”
With that, her friends were silenced. It was how her life was, and it had been since they all met. There was no surprise in her circumstances, and she wished that she had never mentioned it, having been a year in the first place. She did not want to talk about all of it.
She could, after all, hardly bear to think about it.
When she returned home, she was confronted by the same cold and empty household as the one she had left. Over the year, however, she had made the best of it. She had redecorated it all, and after six months had passed, she decided to change it all completely. If she were truly alone, then it would be her home alone, which meant that she could have it as she wanted.
She did not stop for dinner. Instead, she went to her bedchambers, perched by the window and looking out onto the front of her estate. She was tired of being ignored, of being treated as though she were not there, and it was going to change.
CHAPTER 2
Anna was awoken by an arrival the following morning.
She had slept late, as she often did, and so her lady's maid Emma dressed her quickly, and then she made her way to the drawing room, where her guest had been taken.
He was an average-sized man with messy black hair and small, dark eyes. He rather resembled a shrew, and Anna had to bite back a smile at the thought.
