“In that case, what do you think of my husband?”
Evelina sat in thought for a moment, and Anna wondered what she would say. She would be honest, and painfully so, but she would have to be delicate with her words if she did not like him; whether he was a good man or not, he was Anna’s husband, and there was no changing that.
“I think that he is a good man,” she said at last. “Misguided, but from what I saw of him at the celebration, he does not seem particularly awful.”
“My husband is not particularly awful,” Anna replied, with mock glee. “What a fortunate lady I am.”
“Well, what do you think of him?”
“I hardly know anything about him! The only truly fond memory I have of him is our wedding day. I stumbled, and I knocked a beautiful crystal vase over. It must have cost a fortune, but he did not care. His instinct was to steady me, and in spite of our arrangement, I thought we might have been able to fall in love. It was foolish of me, but I truly– I thought that I could change his mind.”
“That was your first mistake,” Theodora replied. “You cannot change a man, for they never change.”
“That is not true,” Evelina argued. “Damien changed, after all.”
“He is an exception,” Theodora reminded her. “We were all in agreement at the time, in case you have forgotten.”
“Yes, well, I had not met Anna’s husband then. I am telling you, there is more to him than we might expect.”
In spite of everything, Anna felt a spark of optimism at her friend’s words. Evelina had never led her astray, and so if she believed in Spencer, then Anna could do the same.
And yet, she was reluctant. It was never going to be easy to forgive him after everything that had happened, but she wished that it was. She wanted to have her husband with her, just as she had wanted on her wedding day.
“In any case,” Theodora said firmly, looking directly at Anna, “you are not going to be a lady who simpers and does as her husband says out of fear. You are going to make your wishes known, and you are going to keep to them.”
And, in spite of how often the sisters disagreed with one another, Evelina nodded along. Anna knew that it was true, and that she had to make herself known rather than have her husband expect that she would do what he wanted, but it unnerved her greatly.
She had taken great pains to have him return, and he could easily walk away again, even with the threat against the estate.
But Anna did not want to think about it any longer. She wanted to have some return to normalcy, an escape from everything that was happening to her. She was tired of it, and it had only been a few days.
“And when might you both find husbands of your own?” she asked. “I expect that wonderful intuition of yours will be of great use, Evelina.”
Her friend laughed warmly, shaking her head.
“I was a wife once,” she sighed. “I do not have any interest in being one again. I am pleased enough with my role as a dowager, and if that never changes, then I shall be quite content.”
“And,” Theodora added, “seeing how men can be, I shall gladly do what I must to avoid such a fate. You make the best of yoursituation, and it is admirable, but I could not do that. I am perfectly happy to be the sister of a dowager. It is a wonderful life.”
Evelina did not seem to think so. Anna understood; at least as a widow, she was afforded some protections, but Theodora was at the mercy of their father, and though Anna did not know him well, she had heard enough to know that he was not someone particularly likable, nor someone that she would have liked to live with.
She thought about that when she returned home. Her husband was not perfect, not by any means, but she was not afraid of him. If anything, the respect he insisted on showing her was infuriating, to say the least. She had been flustered as she told him of her book, but the more she considered it, the more she wished that he were a hero who had come to ravish her.
She pressed the cool back of her hand to her face. She hated how much of an effect he had on her.
The terrace had always been her favorite part of her home. It allowed the perfect amount of breeze to come through, cooling her without causing a chill. It was also quiet, which made it the perfect place to sit and think. It might have made her seem like a madwoman, but she liked to talk to herself aloud. It was an odd thing to do, but it helped her when she had nobody to talk to.
“Alright,” she muttered, as though speaking to Spencer. “I am going to say this, and you will not like it, but I do not care. I cannot care.”
Her hands clasped, she paced the terrace and tried to imagine what she would say. She needed to make him understand her, and she needed to be firm, but she did not want to anger him.
“I need- no, Ideserve,an explanation. As your wife, it is only fair that I– that I know what your plan is, and how we are to handle your cousin and the other trustees. I want to– no, I need to, know what you plan to do with me.”
She sighed, knowing that it was all well and good saying it to herself, but one look from him would be enough to knock the wind from her sails. He was far more handsome than he was when he left, and she could not keep her eyes off of him, which was why she so often looked at the ceiling instead.
“And I will not fall victim to your ridiculous, pretty eyes,” she grumbled.
That was when she heard laughter.
