“Do you care about me?”
“How can you even ask me that?”
“Because if people I knew were talking aboutyoulike that, I would be the one getting arrested. Even the thought of people being cruel to you makes me see red. I don’t…I don’t understand how you could be silent. I wouldneverhave done that to you.”
He was still holding onto my waist for dear life, and I could feel the way his shoulders started to rumble. I felt wetness on my bare legs. It took everything in me not to wipe his tears.
“Did you sleep with her?” My voice was hollow, and I braced myself for the answer.
“What? No! No! I’d never do that to you, tous.”
“Never?” I had to be sure that he wasn’t lying to me, but there was silence. “Elijah? Have you ever slept with Tiffany?” I heard his breath hitch.
“Bonnie, it wasyearsago. I meanyearsbefore I even met you.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. “I want you to leave.” And I couldn’t resist slipping my hand into his hair one last time. Whether it was to soothe him or myself, I wasn’t sure, but I wasn’t quite all there.
“No, Bonnie, I…”
“I need you to go.” I started to pull myself away from him. “Please.”
“Don’t do this, Bonnie Baby…I need you. I can’t…” He was openly crying now, looking up at me. I saw him through my bleary eyes and finally got myself free of his grip. Unable to say anything else, I turned and made my way back into the guest room. Locking the door behind me, I crawled under the covers, wishing I could wake up three days before, when that wasn’tmy life, and wondering where I could go from there. Wherewecould go from there.
Chapter Eleven
Elijah
I sat outside Ellie’s apartment. I couldn’t go. There was no way in hell I was going home without her. Ever. When I told her I wasn’t leaving, I meant it. There wasn’t a realm or reality where I was willing to let that be the end of us. I fucked up, and I fucked upbigtime. I couldn’t believe how royally I had fucked up, and the worst part? She was right. I should have said something. I should have told them exactly where they could shove it, and then I should have punched them in the face. I should have done something—anything. It felt like the wordcowardhad etched itself all over my skin.Coward.
And I was one. I had chosen to be silent because it mademylife easier.
Coward.
I racked my brain on how I could go about fixing it. While refusing to leave was a start, it wasn’t enough. The second choice was to leave the group chat immediately, and I blocked Tiffany’s number. I didn’t give one fuck that we worked together or the implications of that decision. I’d been considering leaving my job for a while, and that had all but made my decision for me.
I was drafting my resignation email in my notes when my phone started pinging, all from different people. Justin, Chad, Ralph. One after another.
Justin: ??
Chad: Why did you leave the chat dude?
Ralph: You ok?
I rolled my eyes and cleared the notifications.No, I wasn’t alright. I was sure that if I hadn’t blocked her number, my phone would also be pinging with notifications from Tiffany. I grimaced at even the mere thought of her name. What an idiot I had been for sleeping with her years earlier, and what an idiot I was for not telling Bonnie. She’d never explicitly asked me, but I knew I should have told her. I would have lost my mind if I found out she worked with someone she had slept with and didn’t tell me. What a hypocrite I was. I just…Once I saw her, everyone else ceased to exist. And Tiffany was so far from my mind at all times that even the thought of bringing her up seemed like more effort than I wanted to give. She was just…irrelevant to me. I wanted to wash my mouth out with soap at the thought of her.
Justin: Bro, what gives? Don’t make me come over. Bonnie steal your phone?
I saw red then, and typed out a message I should have sent a long time ago.
Me: You’re a terrible person, and being in your proximity even a little bit, makes me a terrible person. On her worst day, she’s ten times the person you’ll ever be. Shut your fucking mouth the next time you think about talking about my future wife or i’ll do it for you. Prick.
Justin: Well look who decided to grow a spine. Cute.
Me: I’ll show you cute. Next time.
I blocked his contact, too, and for good measure, the other guys’ numbers. The news would travel fast. I couldn’t send my resignation soon enough. I was sifting through my contract to make sure I was following all the rules so I could be done as soon as possible, when the door to Ellie’s apartment crashed open. I was startled, but only for a second, and then I was melting and starting to breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of Bonnie. That was quickly replaced by more panic when I saw the look on her face.
“Care to explain to me why Tiffany is texting me a picture of you looking very comfortable in pajamas?” she spat at me. I noticed a frying pan in her hand, and I shot up. “You told me youdidn’tcheat on me. Why should I be surprised that I can’t believe a word out of your mouth? And to think I wasthisclose—this fuckingclose—to believing you.” She jabbed the end of the pan into my chest. I was having trouble processing her words becausewhat fucking picture? And I was hanging on to the fact that Bonnie said she believed me. It gave me hope—more hope than I’d had in days.But what fucking picture?
