“But I could—although I am not certain how—perhaps if you showed me—”
“No.” He held her more tightly, pondering her sweet proposal and the generosity behind it. The other women he’d known in his life had always demanded and taken from him. They’d never given back.
Theodosia was the first who had ever even offered.
He kissed her forehead again.
At his tender gesture, her affection for him rose. Again, she thought about how she longed for him to take her full circle. For him to make true love to her. Their union would be glorious, she knew.
She closed her eyes tightly, frustration twisting inside her. Roman could not be her lover. He could be her friend and nothing more.
And if she continued to forget that fact, she would never see Lillian holding a child.
Struggling to subdue the sadness that suddenly darkened her mood, she opened her eyes. “Roman, when we were in the meadow,” she whispered, “I asked if you’d ever had a friend. You failed to answer me.”
He suspected she was doing that psychology thing on him again and waited to feel irritated.
No irritation came to him. Instead, he knew a genuine desire to be as honest with her as she had been with him.
“No, Theodosia,” he murmured, drawing his fingers up and down her arm. “I’ve known a lot of people, but I’ve never stayed in any one place long enough to make a real friend. What about you?”
She kneaded the muscle beneath his nipple and continued to struggle with frustration and melancholy. “Like you, I am acquainted with a great many people. I study with them. I hold discussions with them. Until I met you, I considered them friends. I understand now, however, that I erred in my judgment. A friend is a favored companion, and although I enjoyed the company of the people I know in Boston, I enjoy yours ever so much more. I like being with you.”
Her admission made him feel beyond wonderful.
“Roman?” She buried her face in the thick black satin of his hair. “Would you consider… What I mean to say is that—” She paused for a moment, dwelling on her special feelings for him. “I think of you as a friend. And I would like to be your friend as well. A friendship usually exists without verbal proclamation, but—well, taking into account your negative feelings toward women, I feel the need to verify the actuality of such an affectionate association.”
He couldn’t answer and feigned sleep.
Disbelief pumped through him as he lay there with his eyes closed.
The first real friend he’d ever had was a woman.
While drivingthe wagon outof the town of Red Wolf, Theodosia skimmed Melvin Priestly’s letter once more:
Miss Worth,
Please forgive me for the inconvenience I have caused, but I will be unable to meet you for breakfast this morning. Moreover, I fear I must withdraw my application for the position of siring the child.
Sincerely,
Melvin Priestly
Her brow furrowed in consternation.“I cannot imagine why Melvin changed his mind,” she said to Roman’s back. “He gave no reason whatsoever in his note.”
Roman rode ahead, glad she couldn’t see his smile. “How’s your new horse?”
Theodosia glanced at the small horse she’d purchased to replace the one Mamante had taken. “Fine,” she replied absently, still pondering the oddness of Melvin’s sudden decision.
Another part of her, however, some deep place within her breast, felt relieved that Melvin hadn’t shown up. She told herself that her relief stemmed from the fact that she was not yet ready to submit to being bedded. That she needed a bit more time to dwell on the things she would be doing with the man who mirrored Upton in every way.
But that same deep place within her breast also sheltered the truth. Her feelings for Roman had a great deal to do with her reluctance to lie with another man, and although she knew she would eventually go through with her original plans when she found a replica of Upton, she knew also that it would be the most difficult thing she’d ever done.
“Roman, what do you suppose happened to Melvin?’’ she made herself ask.
Roman’s grin grew as he wondered if anyone in Red Wolf had found Melvin Priestly yet. Having found Melvin before the man reached the hotel, he’d forced him to pen the note of cancellation to Theodosia and had then bound, gagged, and stuffed him into a shed behind the schoolhouse.
“Roman?”
