Andrew closed his mouth and thought for a moment. “I started school here in Singing Creek, but when I was fourteen, my father sent me to a boys’ school in Illinois. It was his hope that I would study medicine, but by the time I turned eighteen I knew I wanted to enter law school. Unfortunately, Father didn’t have the money to send me. I returned to Singing Creek and am now employed by Mr. Victor Rammings, an attorney. I’ve learned a great deal about law while working for him, but I have not yet saved enough money to pay for my education. That’s why I answered your—”
Roman interrupted with a loud rendition of “Dixie.” John the Baptist echoed the song but in a totally different pitch. The result was an ear-splitting cacophony of sour notes.
Theodosia had reached the limit of her patience.
She fairly flew out of the chair and stalked toward the bed.
But before she could get the first word of admonishment out of her mouth, someone pushed the door open with such force that it banged against the wall.
In marched a middle-aged woman wearing a black silk dress and a furious expression. Once in the room, she whirled back toward the door and pointed a toothpick finger at the five men waiting in the hall. “Bricky Borden, just you wait until I tell Sissy that you were one of the men who answered the disgusting advertisement this Miss Worth posted! Sissy will never consent to marry you now! And Hogan Grappy, rest assured that Iris will soon know aboutyourafternoon’s activities! She’ll have you thrown out of the house before supper! Andyou,Cleavon Dirter! Your mother is going to hear about this, and so is yours, Rufus Hardy!”
The men in the corridor vanished, as did Andrew Colby.
A feeling of foreboding rolling through her, Theodosia approached the woman who’d barged into the room and examined her closely.
The woman had her silver hair pulled into such a tight bun that her eyes were slanted. Her nose—long, thin, and pointed—had a black mole right on the tip, and her wrinkled mouth was so pursed, Theodosia wondered if she had just finished sucking on a pickle. “Who—”
“I am Miss Edith Fowler, and my brother, Campbell, is the mayor of Singing Creek. Ten minutes ago, as I left choir practice at the church, I saw and read one of your sordid circulars, and I have come to demand that you leave Singing Creek immediately. We do not abide women of your kind. I am certain that my brother will fully support my demand, so it would behoove you to make utter haste!”
John the Baptist hopped off the bed and waddled across the floor, stopping directly before Miss Fowler. “Even if I shut my eyes and ears, I would still know I was near to you because I can smell you,” he said.
Completely unconcerned with the situation, Roman kicked off his boots, chuckling all the while.
Theodosia threw him an irate look, then turned back to the prim, proper, and prudish Miss Fowler. “It is not my intention to disturb the sensibilities of the people who reside in Singing Creek, Miss Fowler. If you understood the full circumstances that induced me to post my advertisement, I feel sure you would be willing to allow me to stay in your town. Please sit down, and I shall explain my desperate situation.”
Her curiosity and the fact that she would soon have a wealth of gossip to share with the ladies of the Singing Creek sewing circle led Miss Fowler to relent. She gave a stiff nod and proceeded to sit down in one of the chairs by the window.
John the Baptist followed her, stopping by the toes of her shoes. “I have never slept without a nightrail on, nor will I ever do so.”
Roman snickered again. “You’ve never felt cool sheets against your skin—er…feathers?” he egged the parrot on, ignoring Theodosia’s glare.
The bird craned his neck up to Miss Fowler. “I’m only experimenting with my senses. You’re a virgin now, and I promise you still will be when I’m through.”
When Roman doubled over with laughter again, Theodosia closed her eyes and counted the seconds in an effort to maintain her poise. “Miss Fowler—”
“I have never been so shocked in all my life,” Miss Fowler said, her silver eyebrows knit together. She moved her feet away from the parrot, glad when her skirts swished across the bird’s face.
Startled, John the Baptist leaped into the air. Flapping his wings, he managed to fly into Miss Fowler’s lap.
Her actions automatic, she reached out to fend him off.
He avoided her flying arms and sprang to the back of the chair. More secure now, he leaned over, placed his beak next to Miss Fowler’s ear, and said, “I’ve never seen a penis.”
Her complexion completely void of color, Miss Fowler grabbed the arms of the chair and squeezed so hard that her arms shook.
“I cannot find the will to deny myself the pleasure of your touch,” John the Baptist continued, rubbing his head across her temple. “This is a hint of what lovemaking is all about.”
Miss Fowler screamed.
Her ears ringing, Theodosia hurried to retrieve her parrot. Keeping her pet snugly under her arm, she looked at Miss Fowler and started to apologize.
But John the Baptist wasn’t finished talking. “I believe you’re looking for a bodyguard, Miss Worth? Much time must be taken by the man to ready the woman for the sight of his nakedness.”
Clutching her reticule tightly to her sagging bosom, Miss Fowler jumped from the chair and nearly fell down in her haste to remove herself from the scene of such carnal discussion.
Roman could not control himself. He laughed so hard that his stomach began to cramp.
“Howcouldyou?” Theodosia demanded. “Only this morning I reiterated to you the importance of my goals, and yet you paid no heed whatsoever to what I said to you. On the contrary, you saw fit to drown yourself with liquor, and when you returned to me, you did your level best to ruin the interviews! And to make matters as unpleasant as they could possibly be, you offered me no assistance at all with that busybody Miss Fowler. Indeed, knowing that John the Baptist will not cease his mimicking once he starts, you did everything you could compel him into one of his loquacious moods!”
