The thought that she would no longer need him then twisted his gut, made him violently ill. But he fought the unanticipated wave of nausea, never more unwilling to release her than he was in that instant.
All his life something had beckoned him on.
All his life he’d wandered in search of it.
And only now, this moment, did he finally and truly understand what it was that had driven him forever onward, with a wanderlust stronger than any he’d ever known. His search was finally over, he sensed, and felt deeply at ease with that knowledge—the only problem was in convincing Elizabeth.
Filling his lungs with the sweet scent of her, he eased his weight off her, then, lured by the temptation of her lush curves, lowered his head to her breast, kissing it reverently, before nestling in to listen to the steady, cajoling beat of her heart. Without looking, he knew that she slept, but he couldn’t—not with his heart hammering so ruthlessly... not with her arms wrapped so lovingly about his neck, her fingers still entwined in his hair.
It felt too good.
Chapter Twenty-Four
What had she expected? Elizabeth reproached herself. That he would have demanded they stay and role-play the rest of their lives? Why should he have wished to? Just because she’d never wanted it to end? Besides, the longer they remained, the more difficult it would’ve been to leave. And she’d been right in pressing Cutter to go. She had obligations to see to in Sioux Falls.
‘‘Nothing lasts forever,” she reminded herself petulantly.
Cutter arched his dark brows. “What was that?”
Katie, who was sitting in Cutter’s lap—wearing his hat—looked up at her new uncle adoringly, and Elizabeth felt more than a twinge of guilt for deceiving the poor child. How was she going to feel to find that the uncle she was beginning to fall in love with, to trust in, was not her uncle after all, but only a man hired to play the part? Why had she ever thought it a good idea? It was a ridiculous idea! And one that was bound to break hearts—Katie’s as well as her own!
Though Katie was obviously excited about the trip to Sioux Falls, she seemed a little blue, as well. Elizabeth thought it was likely she was already missing her grandfather, but there wasn’t much she could do about that. Elias had made it clear that, though he loved his granddaughter, he was too old to be raising her. And he was probably right. Besides, he and Miss Mimi deserved time for themselves.
“I think Aunt Lizabeth said that this ride is way too long,” Katie told him, with an exasperated sigh. “And I think she’s right! I think it’s gonna last forever and ever and ever!”
Cutter chuckled, and Elizabeth smiled at the indignant tone of Katie’s voice.
“Because I’m sleepy!” Katie added plaintively.
“I know,” Cutter sympathized. “Think you can hang on awhile longer?” In the week since he’d met the kid, he’d grown as fond of her as Elizabeth had. When he looked at her sometimes, he could almost believe she was his own, with her dark hair and eyes. Falling into the role of father could be so easy.
“Uh-huh,” Katie replied as she began to squirm.
But Cutter didn’t notice her desperate gesture, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have understood what it meant. As it was, his thoughts were somewhere else entirely. He patted her head in answer, pulling her back to rest against his chest. She’d ridden for the last three hours in his saddle, speaking little but for an interjection here and there to her whiny little dog.
She’d insisted on bringing Shiftless along—swore she couldn’t live without the mutt. And Cutter thought he understood. From what he’d gathered, Shiftless had become her living anchor. Shiftless, for his part, seemed a little less loyal. Every so often the dog would stop to whine and wag its tail, then it would dash a few feet to the rear, only to stop again and bark for them to turn around. But because there was nothing Cutter could do about the dog’s distress, he ignored it, and Katie usually managed to solve that problem on her own.
With only a gently spoken word or two from her, Shiftless would once again follow blindly, wagging his tail as he dogged the Palouse’s hooves. As Cutter saw it, Katie had been raised with the dog, and Shiftless was, more like than not, the one link to her past she couldn’t let go of—didn’t have to, as far as he was concerned.
But that was the problem. Unconsciously his hand went about her waist, hugging her fondly as he acknowledged the facts: As it stood, Katie wasn’t legally his concern. Nor was Elizabeth. And he was contemplating how to best bring that subject up. And wondering how it would be received when he did.
Did Elizabeth really hold his ancestry against him? She’d said that she’d lost her mother and sister because of his people. He could only wonder at the meaning of that. Did she really blame him because Cheyenne blood burned through his veins? It burned for her. With a sigh, he rubbed his jaw, his gaze drawn like a magnet to Elizabeth. Despite the fact that she was exhausted from a night gone without sleep, she sat straight in the saddle; the only sign of fatigue was the fact that her eyes were squinted.
Katie began to rock frantically. “Gotta go!” she whispered urgently, but only an instant later, before Cutter could even blink an eye, a telltale warmth crept under his hindquarters. Katie stiffened. Cutter froze, glancing down warily at the child in his saddle.
Naw, he thought, shaking his head. She couldn’t have. Could she? His face screwed with disbelief. Damn him, if it didn’t feel like it, though! His nostrils flared and he swore he could smell it, as well. But hell, it couldn’t be! Not in his brand-spanking-new saddle? Damned thing was little over two months old!
“Ya know what, Uncle Cutter?” Katie said impetuously, lifting her chin high. But she didn’t look up at him as she spoke, and her little shoulders were still tense. Cutter dreaded her next words.
“I’m soooo proud of myself!”
Just as sure as eggs were eggs, the wetness seeped up from his good saddle into his denims. Cutter silently cursed a blue streak. Stunned as he was, he couldn’t find his voice to answer the kid. Had he really thought he’d make a good parent? Hell, he hadn’t even considered asking whether she’d needed to relieve herself! Neither had Elizabeth, for that matter. He turned to give her a cutting glance, and was surprised to find that she returned it.
“Why is that?” Elizabeth asked Katie, when it was apparent Cutter wasn’t going to.
Katie nodded soberly. “Because, Aunt Lizabeth. I held my pee for sooooooo long!” There was unconcealed pride in her tone.
Elizabeth’s eyes went wide at Katie’s revelation, and her first instinct was to laugh, but Cutter’s disgusted scowl and Katie’s anxious expression kept her from it. Her hand flew to her mouth.
