"Ash, I have to. Don't you see?"
"See? No. No, I don't!" There was fire in her voice. "You say that you love me. Love the children. That you want a life with us. And with the next breath you're ready to fling that all away on some... some vengeance quest that could get you killed."
"I'm a good shot, Ash."
"I'll have Renny carve that into your tombstone! I'm sure it will give the little ones great comfort."
"Damn it, Ashleen, I have to do this. Don't you understand? The Garveys killed my parents. Murdered Kennisaw. What if someday... someday they came after you?"
"I hardly think they'd trouble themselves to trek halfway across the country after me just because I tripped them. We'll never see them again, Garret."
"You can't know that for certain, lady. But even if we don't see them again, Ash, somebody will." Garret grabbed her upper arms, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Don't you see, lady? Somewhere there is a little farm with children playing—just like ours. Maybe their pa has just sold some livestock. Maybe they've got a herd of horses that's their pride and joy. Or heirlooms, jewels their ma brought from back east. Or maybe their ma is just beautiful, like you are."
His gaze skated with agonizing love over her features, his memory haunting him with images of that face brutalized, battered, as his mother's had been. "Ash, their ma—she won't be beautiful anymore after the Garveys ride in."
He felt her shudder, hated himself for forcing her to look into the ugliness, the evil that threatened them, surrounded the Garveys wherever they went.
But she only peered up at him, her eyes heartbreakingly steady. "It's not your place to judge them, Garret—to be judge and jury and executioner all in one. I saw what they did to Kennisaw. We can set the Rangers on their trail, bring them to justice."
"Justice?" Garret scoffed. "There is no justice when lawmen get hungry to gorge themselves on an outlaw's gold. Why do you think the Garveys didn't hang for murdering my family? Why do you think the law let those bastards live? They caged them up in their damn jail so there would be time to try to pry information out of the murdering scum—so that your precious lawmen could find the gold that cost Ma and Pa and Beth their lives."
"But maybe the Garveys gave them the gold to get free. Maybe it's gone now. If Cain and Eli went on trial for Kennisaw's death—"
"No, Ash. When the Garveys didn't hang, Kennisaw went wild. Three times he tried to break into the jail to kill them himself. The last time, the sergeant put a bullet in Kennisaw's leg and told him that if he tried to get to the Garveys again, he'd shoot to kill. Kennisaw took his chances with the law and lost. I won't make that mistake again."
There was something in her face that chilled him—stark disappointment, a kind of uncomprehending anguish. It was as if she were staring at his face for the first time without the mask she had woven of fancy, without the hero guise she had draped across his shoulders.
"You're telling me you're going to ride out alone, leaving us behind, so that you can gun down two men in cold blood."
Garret gave a harsh laugh. "Don't you see, Ash? They're dangerous. Evil. Killing them is no different than gunning down a rabid dog. They're animals."
"And they're going to turn you into one as well."
"Woman, have you heard anything I've said? About what happened to my family? About Kennisaw? Don't you understand—"
"I'll never understand."
"Damn it, Ashleen—"
She turned away, sliding from the feather tick, the lamplight painting her flesh a soft rose beneath her nightgown. She grabbed up a dressing gown, slipping it over her arms.
"Where the hell are you going?" Garret demanded, feeling a sharp sting of unease.
"Out to look at the stars," she said, her voice strained, quiet. "To try to understand why you would leave us."
"Damn it, I don't want to! I have to, Ashleen."
"Do you? Or is this just one more way of running from what you feel? Running from me? The children? If the Garveys shoot you, you won't have to be afraid anymore, will you, Garret?"
He felt as if she'd slammed a fence rail into his gut. "That's not fair."
"Fair?" She whirled on him, all anger and anguish, tears spilling from her lashes. "Was it fair for you to say you love me? Ask me to marry you? You dangled all my dreams in front of me, let me touch them, then you snatched them away by saying you're going off to hunt down the Garveys. What did you expect me to do, Garret? What did you expect me to say? Good luck? Good hunting? Have a nice journey? Maybe I should pack up a parcel of food for you and check to see that your gun is loaded."
"Stop it, Ashleen."
"No, I won't stop it any more than you will! Damn you, Garret MacQuade! Damn you to hell!"
Razor-sharp chains seemed to clench about his chest, driving out hope, leaving stark despair.
