The problem was that Matthew didn’t know who would go where.He couldn’t leave the village, so it depended on what Alan decided to do, and Matthew had no idea what that would be.
He swallowed and got to his feet.Alan frowned and reached for him, moving hesitantly as if he expected Matthew to push him away.Matthew hated that he was making his mate feel that.How could he ever push Alan away?
He allowed Alan to take his hand and pull him down onto the couch.He was tense, and he knew that Alan could feel it.Alan had to know something was wrong.
“What’s going on?”he asked.
Matthew didn’t want Alan to worry today of all days.He’d been through a lot.He’d had to confront his boss after the man had tried to kill him and had revealed himself to be a monster.He’d been grabbed and used as a shield.He didn’t have a scratch on him that Matthew could see, but emotionally, anyone would be a mess in his place.But instead of being curled up on the couch crying, Alan was worrying about Matthew.It wasn’t fair.
“I’m fine,” Matthew promised.
“You’re not behaving like you’re fine.”
“But I am.I was worried about you, but you’re okay.Victor is out of the way, and he won’t hurt anyone else.That’s all we wanted, isn’t it?”
Alan was still watching Matthew with shrewd eyes.Matthew felt like he could see through him, and in a way, he could.Alan could feel that Matthewwasn’tokay.
That would take some time getting used to.Matthew didn’t want to hide things from his mate, but sometimes, he would also not want Alan to feel what he was feeling.Today was one of these times.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” he told Alan.
“Do you worry about me?”
“You’re my mate.Of course I worry about you.”
“The same goes for me, doesn’t it?You’re my mate.Of course I worry about you.”
He had Matthew there.Besides, this was a conversation they needed to have.Alan was free to leave now.He could go back to his apartment, find another job, and do everything he’d hoped he would do while working with Victor.
“Look, you don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to, but I know something’s wrong,” Alan said.“I just want you to remember that I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
Matthew sighed.“I just don’t want you to worry.”
“Again.You’re mymate.I might not be a shifter or a supernatural being, but it doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”He hesitated.“I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through whatever’s on your mind on your own.We’re mates, right?That means something.”
“It does.”Matthew looked away.He wanted to beg Alan to never leave, to move in with him and start their life together.Everything in their relationship still felt fragile, even though they were bonded.
This wasn’t how Matthew had imagined things would go when he’d found his mate and had bonded with him.It wasn’t a surprise.He’d seen enough of his friends meeting their mates to notice things rarely went smoothly initially.They always got better, though.He just needed to give himself and Alan time.
“How about we watch a movie?”he offered.“I can make some popcorn.”
Alan stared for a moment before nodding.“Sure.I could eat popcorn.”
Matthew knew the conversation wasn’t over.Alan wouldn’t let it go, and he was right not to.They did need to talk and be honest with each other.Matthew felt it would be easier to do if there was something else they could focus on when it became too much, though.
Hence the movie.
He left Alan on the couch with orders not to move and to rest.Alan was also supposed to choose the movie, for which Matthew was glad because he had no idea what he wanted to watch.He doubted he’d do much watching, anyway.He was pretty sure his full focus would be on Alan the entire time.
By the time he returned to the living room, the TV was on and the movie was paused.Alan had taken off his shoes and had curled up on the couch, buried under a blanket.He looked soft and comfortable, and Matthew ached to join him.
He did.He might not know what Alan wanted to do next, but for now, they were both here.Matthew would enjoy what they shared and pray he’d get more.
He wouldn’t try to stop Alan if he decided to leave.Alan wanted to help people.He wanted to atone for what Victor had done, even though it wasn’t his place.If he felt he’d be more useful away from the village, so be it.Matthew wanted his mate to live up to his full potential.He wanted Alan to do whatever he wanted to do.He wouldn’t clip his wings.
“What did you choose?”he asked as he sat down next to his mate.
“Something with a lot of explosions.I don’t think I can focus on anything else right now.”
