We walk out of the hospital room side by side, our steps slow, heavy, and quiet.
And every one of them takes us closer to saying goodbye.
***Skip***
I hate funerals.
Even more so when it’s one of my brothers lying in that tiny fucking box.
Eli tugs on my hand, drawing me out of my head, and I follow him over to where Spike stands with Riley and Asher. His shoulders are tight, jaw clenched, grief sitting behind his eyes like a loaded gun.
“When we get back to the compound,” Spike says as we approach, “we’re having a party. Knuckles would shoot every one of us if this is how we said goodbye to him.”
“Beer over tears,” I grin, even though my throat feels like broken glass.
“Exactly,” Spike grunts. Then his gaze softens as he turns to Eli. “How you feeling?”
Eli shakes his head, looking small and so damn sad.
“Guilty,” he whispers.
My stomach drops.
I want to pull him into my arms. Tell him he has nothing to feel guilty about. Tell himI’mthe one who brought him into all this shit.I’mthe reason he nearly died. If guilt belongs anywhere, it’s on my shoulders.
But instead, I squeeze his hand while Spike takes a breath.
“What exactly are you feeling guilty about?” Spike finally asks.
“That I’m sad about Knuckles,” Eli says, voice cracking. “When we first met, I hated him. He was so mean to me. But over the past month, we… I don’t know… I got to know him. I saw why he was angry. I’d be angry too if I had a time limit on my life.”
Riley steps closer. “Eli… why guilty?”
“Because he wasyourfriend.Yourfamily. And I don’t feel like I knew him enough to be this sad. It’s not fair to all of you that I got his last words. His last laugh. His last breath.” Eli swipes at his face, brushing away the fresh tears. “I’m nobody. He deserved to die surrounded by all of you…not trapped with me.”
Before Spike can speak, Patch steps forward, voice unusually gentle.
“Let me ask you something.”
And when Eli looks up, he realizes we’re surrounded by our family.
Bones, Sunny, Abby, Max, Tank, Crusher, Foster, Patch, Maverick, Luca…even some of Maverick’s men. A damn fortress made of family.
“Before he died,” Patch asks quietly, “did he say anything?”
We found out yesterday that cancer didn’t take our brother…not directly. The bullet finished what his body was already losing the battle against.
It’s fucked up, but knowing Knuckles, he’d prefer it that way.
“He told me…” Eli takes a shuddering breath. “…he’d much rather die protecting his family than from cancer.”
Patch barks a laugh. “Yeah. That sounds like him.”
“Before Cortéz took us,” Eli continues, “he pulled me outside the shop because he thought he was dying right then. He was so pale. So weak.” Eli’s voice cracks again. “But when we got taken? He hid all of that. He fought so hard to save me, even though he could barely breathe. He was shaking so badly, but he kept smiling at me. Reassuring me. Kept putting himself between them and me.”
Sunny wipes her face and cuddles against Bones.
“I don’t know how he even stood up,” Eli whispers. “But he did. He killed all three of those men. And he died in my lap. And that’s what I feel guilty about. Those moments… they weren’t mine to have. They belonged to his family.”
