“That’s not true.” But he hesitates, looking over his shoulder.
And that hurts too, that he might keep her from me. The only bright spot in this miserable fucking existence. Her, and Jace.
I turn away before he can see how badly this is breaking me. Ignoring his calls, I walk away, my chest flayed open for anyone to see.
If only they cared tolook.
Stone walls close in, breathing down my neck. I can’t get enough air. I press a hand to my chest, as if I can physically hold myself together.
I needout.
Out of Umbraxis.
The sharp, biting night air in the courtyard hits me like a rush of cold freedom. I spot movement near the stables. Two shadowscouts are preparing to ride out, tightening girths and checking their packs. Kaelen has pulled most of the patrols in, but the scouts will be the first to sound the alarm.
I even know them, at least a little. “Beckett. Carmen.”
They glance up when they see me. Beckett lifts a brow. He’s always been friendly enough, though he doesn’t smile now. “Didn’t expect company.”
“Neither did I,” I say hoarsely. “You heading out?”
“Sweeping the passage for any changes” Carmen says. “Won’t be long.”
“Good.” I reach for a spare saddle before either of them can question it. “I’m coming with you.”
They can’t say no. I’m still technically a Council member, despite my name being on par with filth for the most part. They hate me, until they need me.
“Sure,” Beckett says finally. “We’ll wait.”
A familiar voice stops me while I’m saddling up. “Darian?”
Eldritch stands a few paces back. His arms are folded.
“You’re not fit to ride tonight,” he says gently. “Not like this.”
“I’m fine.” I tighten the strap, moving on to the next.
“You’re not,” he counters. “And running into the Veilspire won’t fix it.”
I laugh under my breath. “Staying won’t either.”
He steps closer, lowering his voice. “You want to talk? I’ve got a warm drink and a good ear.”
I want to take his silent offer. Erevan knows, I do. But the thought of walking back inside those walls—
“I just need to breathe,” I say. My voice breaks. “I can’t fucking breathe here, Eldritch. I’ll be back soon.”
I swing into the saddle before my resolve can falter, nudging my horse past him. As we ride out, Umbraxis shrinking behind us, the pressure eases just enough for me to inhale fully.
But the pain doesn’t ease at all.
Kaelen
Eres doesn’t knock. He slams the door open hard enough that it rattles in its frame, his bellow following. “Kaelen!”
I hold up my hands as Lyra bolts upright, woken by the noise of him storming in. She still looks too pale, too tired. Just like he did. “If this is about Darian, I know. I’m going to apologize.”
I’ve been sitting here for hours, going over the argument in my head and mentally kicking myself. But I didn’t want to leave Lyra alone and didn't want to disturb Eres. “Where is he?”
