“Hurts,” I rasp. My chest feels as though somebody has shoved a red-hot poker directly through the center.
Darian reaches for my face before changing his mind and picking up my hand instead. He wraps it in both of his, holding it up and kissing my wrist. He half-laughs, half-sobs. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than you are already.”
“Eres… healed me?” I remember the spear. How I had looked down to see it emerge from my chest, where my heart should have been. I shouldn’t be here.
I was in the middle of the Solvandyr army.
How am I here?
“I healed you.” The quiet voice comes from my other side. It takes a tortuously long time for me to work out how to turn my head, but I manage it. “With some assistance from the healer.”
“Reena.” Confused, I wet my lips. “How are you… here?”
She doesn’t smile. But her eyes are soft as she leans forward. Her hand tidies my braid, smoothing it down where it lays next to me against the pillow. “Plenty of time to talk about that, Lyra. When we’re home.”
Home.
At the question in my face, she tilts her head. “In Solvandyr. We can leave as soon as you’re safe to travel.”
My flinch is instinctive, and immediate.
Home. Solvandyr.The two terms feel so completely separated to me that my entire body rejects the notion, agony tearing through my body as I shrink back into the bed.
Her hand falls from my braid. “Lyra?”
I can’t—
Hands cup my face. “Breathe.”
I focus on his face. On drawing air in and out of my lungs. Kaelen looks just as tired as the others. More so, perhaps. But his eyes are soft. He waits until the harsh, noisy sounds of my panic settle.
He doesn’t say anything. His thumb strokes over my cheekbone, just once, before he stands. “We’ll give you some time with your sister.”
She stares at me as they leave. “Solvandyr is your home, Lyra.”
I swallow. “Can I have some water?”
She helps tip the cup, giving me a little without spilling it all over me. As my throat moistens, I face her. “I don’t want to go back.”
She flinches. “But things will be different now—”
“I love you.” Her eyes grow wide. I’m not sure I’ve ever said the words to her aloud. “But I can’t go back there, Reena. I… Iwantto stay here. If they’ll have me.”
She draws in a slow breath, then releases it. “Judging from the arguments I’ve had with Duskbane since we arrived, I think it’s safe to say they want you to stay. But… you’re sure?”
I nod, and even that hurts. “I want to help them rebuild Umbraxis. This is… this feels like home.”
Maybe not completely. But enough that I want to try to build one here, with them.
“I don’t understand,” she admits. Her hand lingers near mine on the bed, not touching. “But… if that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I swallow again. “Has it been very difficult?”
Her brow knots. “I like your healer well enough. The dreamwalker, too. But Kaelen Duskbane… I don’t understand how youdidn’tkill him.”
The small bite of humor makes me smile. “It’s a long story.”
Her hands are hesitant, before they stroke over my hair again. “We have time.”
