My footsteps are light as I jump up the last few stairs to the main deck, despite the lingering ache at the back of my skull. The blazing afternoon heat has softened with the hours that passed as I worked on Selene’s wings, the endless, bright blue of the noon sky deepened to shades of molten gold and crimson as the horizon slowly swallows the sun on the port side ofVolatus.
Directly ahead of us, the Never wait, the split in the sky tearing across the setting sun like a jagged cut. Waiting. Only darkness is visible on the other side.
Beneath my feet, the ship is still. The copper took far longer than I thought and sweat drips down my back as I keep the threads of my maegis working, holding theVolatusback and steady until we’re ready to cross.
Sol is waiting for me. His mouth is twisted down, the scowl that never leaves him when we’re on the ship on full display.“You’re a fucking fool, Callan. What in Ellas were you thinking, wasting your maegis like that?”
“It’s done.” When I shift past him, he grabs for my arm. My hackles rise. “Careful, Solomon.”
Sol picks up on the faint tremor below our feet immediately. Releasing his grip, he raises his hands in an unspoken apology. “I amworriedabout you. What’s going on inside your head? You don’t take risks like this, Cal. The power you just spent—”
“Was worth it.” I cut him off, my tone not inviting a discussion. “It was worth it, Sol. I’m no weaker because of what just happened.”
The opposite, although I don’t voice it. A little of the weight I’ve borne for ten long years has lifted. Just a little, but enough that I can breathe.
She’s going to fly.
I have nothing to offer her, other than the maegis. Apologies mean nothing. I cannot take back any of it.
But I could give her this small thing, and there is not a single regret in my heart for the burst of stars I just saw in Selene’s eyes.
For the smile she gave me. Small, and genuine, and worth the scent of blood in my nose, the metal that lingers at the back of my throat in silent warning. Clapping Sol on the shoulder, I roll my own back, stretching out the aching muscles. “I’ll be ready shortly.”
He loosens a frustrated breath. “You’re distracted by her. Admit that, at least. You’ve never lied to me before.”
My eyebrows raise. “And yetyou’rethe one that will not stop talking about her.”
“Because she isdangerous,” he hisses. “Things will change when we get back, Cal. You have no idea what she can do. What revenge she might call down on our heads.”
At his side, his fists clench. “I cannot lose anyone else, Callan. Matthias—I cannot lose him.”
Pausing, I study him. The Never is a bleak backdrop behind Sol as if it might swallow him entirely. My words are softer. “You’re not going to lose him.”
“Every moment that we spend lingering here is a moment he’s left there alone,” he says tightly. “What if he’s been called up while we’re gone?”
My brows dip low. “You know that won’t happen. Petyr agreed.”
“Petyr changes his mind with every damned turn of the clock,” Sol snaps. He runs his hands over his head. His expression is lost. “And the closer we get, the more scared I am that we will pull up at that dock and he won’t be there, Callan. I shouldn’t have left him. We haven’t even done the camp drop yet.”
The heaviness falls over me again. “You know how it works. One of us stays. Only one. And he volunteered for this run, Sol. Matthias knows we’re coming back for him.”
He snorts out a bitter, unamused laugh. “Petyr knows what he’s doing, I’ll give him that.”
I don’t disagree. “But Petyr also knows that these trips will end if he touches any of you. I…”
I trail off. “I’m sorry. I’m trying, Sol.”
And it is never enough. His face changes, falling.
My jaw is tight as I look over his shoulder to the darkness waiting for us. “I need to get ready.”
“Wait—”
His hold is lighter on my arm this time. He sighs. “Gods. I’m sorry. You do more than enough, Cal. I’m just worried. About all of it. About you too, you eejit.”
It’s easier to push those thoughts away, to box them up, to offer him a lazy grin instead of the worries that hover on my lips. My eyes raise to his forehead. “I’m not sure Matthias will evenrecognize you, you know. Not with all those lines you’re getting. You’re looking a little more like Merrick every day. Perhaps it’s time for a change in routine.”
He reaches for his head, changing the motion halfway through to shove at my shoulder. His snort this time holds genuine amusement. “Ass. Go and kill yourself with too much maegis then, if you insist. We’ll stitch you up afterward.”
