He hesitates, those bronze eyes alight with the glimmer of maegis, but my hands wrap in his shirt, tugging him down until he settles over me. My legs are apart, Callan’s body braced around mine as I reach up and claim him again, my arm hooking around his neck as I pull him closer and lift myself into him.
Liquid, and lightning, and maegis. That’s what this feels like. As though the two of us are filled with it, engulfed in it.
I am trembling, shaking, undone for him. When Callan tears his mouth from mine, he looks almost dazed. “Selene.”
His lips press to the hollow of my damp throat. “Selene.”
He says my name as though it’s a prayer. Reverence, and adoration.
There is so much to process that I am dizzy with it. With the rough abrasion of his linen shirt, with his weight against mine, with the rasp of his stubble over skin that has never felt anything quite so perfect. “Do not stop.”
It’s almost a sob. A plea, for I cannot lose this.
His face drops to mine, our foreheads pressing together. “It’s alright.”
But it’s not. Callan’s hand cups my cheek, stroking my face. “Gods. You’re…glowing.”
I force my eyes away from his face. Down to my arm. He’s right. My skin is shining, and not faintly. As though I’m leaking the light of the moon. It fills the room around us.
My lips part in shock. Callan laughs softly. His nose brushes mine. “I want to kiss you again. But there is much to discuss.”
He’s right. I know he is right. Still, my hand tightens in his hair, silent refusal at the thought of losing his weight against mine. My voice sounds throaty, low and husky. “I did not know it could be like this.”
There is so much more. Both of us know it, as our eyes meet. My core tightens, twists. “I never…I never wanted it before.”
I have never wanted a male as I want him. I want him to push the already bunched edges of my dress up. To run his hands over my bare skin, to run the roughened pads of his thumbs over my breasts.
To know what it might feel like when he settles between my legs to soothe the building need that feels relentless.
And he wants me too. I can feel it. I shift experimentally, watching his eyes close as my hips move. His moan sounds more like a growl. “Selene.”
He sits up and grabs my hands, his lips pressing to my palms. “Not tonight.”
I might die if he doesn’t assuage the ache that cramps my lower body. But he’s saying no. I struggle upright, my cheeks flushing with humiliation.
His lips meet mine again, so swiftly that it’s the faintest graze before they vanish again. “Look at me.”
Silently, I shake my head. I am out of sorts.
“Selene.” A true groan, this time. I can’t pull away when he takes hold of my face, cradling it. “Look at me, love.”
My chest flutters, and I swallow as I raise my eyes.
Callan searches my face. His lips press to my cheek. My forehead. “I want all of it. Everything.”
His hand lowers. He presses it over my dress, over my heartbeat. It thumps unsteadily. “And I wantthis.”
His words act like cold water against my skin, and I flinch away. “I cannot give you that. Youknowthat.”
What he talks of is not possible for me. And as I look at him, rumpled and warm and real, I wish so badly that it were not the case.
If I could love, then he would be my choice.
It hurts, a grief I never expected to feel.
Because if I feel like this now, as if I will die without his hands on me, what would it be like to love him?
“I don’t believe that.” Callan shakes his head. “I don’t believe that anyone who cares as strongly as you do lacks the ability to love. I think you’re falling in love with me, Selene. The gods know I’m falling just as hard for you.”
