Rio coughs into his fist. “I can wait outside the door.”
“Not helping,” Callan snaps at him. “I haven’t been invited. No doubt intentionally.”
Bemused, I blink. “I don’t understand.”
Callan’s mouth opens. And then he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. But I’ll take you tomorrow.”
It takes me a moment to nod. “All right.”
Chapter thirty-four
Selene
Esme is waiting when we arrive back, Callan turning and striding away with a brief mutter about speaking with Sol before he vanishes around the corner.
Rio slips past me and tugs her into his arms. Esme buries her face in his chest, and I hover awkwardly. The humor has vanished from Rio’s face, replaced by something infinitely more…
More.
I keep my face averted as Esme steps back with a laugh. “I’d wondered where you were.”
“Reassigned to Selene.”
And then he wiggles his eyebrows at her. “So I’ll be aroundallthe time.”
Esme’s cheeks darken, but she rolls her eyes. “Wonderful. Well, I need to get Selene ready for dinner. You can wait out here.”
She tugs me into the bedroom, closing the door on his disappointed expression.
I gesture awkwardly between her and the door. “I didn’t know it was like that between you. You don’t have to help me if you want to spend some time together. I’ve been dressing myself for a long time.”
She doesn’t look at me as she moves over to the bed. Another dress is laid out, this one familiar in the same way as the one I wore last night. I wonder whose bedchamber this was collected from—which of my sisters once wore this against her skin, only for the beautiful material to be stuffed in a storage room until Esme found it. “It’s not like anything. He’s my friend.”
My stomach drops. I should not have mentioned it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Esme brushes off my awkwardness with a wry smile. “You didn’t. Did anything happen at the dock?”
“No.” Frustrated, I sit on the edge of the bed and lean forward, my elbows on my knees as I rest my chin on my hands. “I don’t know where to start. Callan said he would help me search some of the old records, if they’re still here.”
“Did he?” She bites down on her lower lip. “We can all help search, if that would be easier.”
“I appreciate that.”
She gives up on pretending to smooth down the bedding, throwing herself down beside me instead. “There’s something on your mind. A problem shared is a problem halved, or so my mother used to say. Usually when trying to wrest information out of me.”
“You miss her.” I shift to give her my full attention.
“We all miss people. It’s the curse of those left behind.” The strong line of her forehead deepens. “But I find myself forgetting things I once thought would be impossible. My mother’s perfume. My father’s laughter. My sister’s eyes. I wondered if itwas the pretium at first. If it had snuck in when I wasn’t looking and taken them from me.”
I search my own memories, looking for Nyx’s face. Celeste’s. Their voices. And my chest tightens in understanding and shared grief. “Time takes all things from us eventually.”
“It does.” She sighs. “But if you’d like to talk about whatever is bothering you, I’m here.”
I pull the parchment out once more, running my fingers over it. The words tumble out, slowly at first, and then in a flood as Esme listens.
By the time I’m finished, we’re both lying on our sides across the bed, our cheeks propped on our hands and the parchment between us.
“I’m scared to open it,” I admit. “It could be nothing, or it could be everything.”
