“But you don’t want her to do it.”
I tilt my head in question. He snorts. “If you don’t want your thoughts to be so obvious, maybe keep them away from her for a while.”
“It’s not that.” My hands clench and unclench. Pressing my head back against the white, solid wall, I sigh. “I don’t want her to risk herself for us. She’s one, singular faeyte against a void created by the goddess who gifted her maegis in the first place. But we’ve already seen her do the impossible, Sol. I have faith in her. But I can’t lose her.”
Not again.
My mind is made up, I realize. All these years, I have been waiting. Crossing the Never. Eking out an existence, putting one foot in front of the other and wondering when something would finallyhappen. When it would all begin, or all end, and most days I oscillated between wishing for one or the other.
Now, I know who I was waiting for. And every day I have waited for her was worth it. “Whatever happens, I’ll stand with her.”
“So,” Sol says after a moment. There’s a smile in his voice. “He finally falls.”
I shove at his shoulder as if we’re teens once more. “Perhaps I’ve had enough of you and Matthias showing the rest of us up.”
He huffs a laugh. “Your Selene comes nowhere close to my Matthias. She haswings. Like a bug.”
I adore her wings. “Yours has a mouth nine times the size of his body.”
“Hey!” We both look up guiltily. A smirk plays around Matthias’s mouth as he steps out of Selene’s room, pulling the door closed behind him. “Solomon loves my mouth. Don’t you, baby? Callan, ask him what I did with it before we went to dinner. God knows it’s been so long you could probably use some advice.”
“Matthias,” Sol hisses. But his grin spreads, before he swallows, tugging at the neck of his tunic. “Don’t tell Selene I said that, about the wings. I don’t mind the wings.”
Matthias kicks at my foot, holding out a hand and pulling Sol to his feet. “You know you can stay with us tonight, if you want to.”
“Absolutelynot,” Sol says promptly. “Sorry, Cal. I have plans. And so does Matthias.”
Matthias’s ears turn pink. “And we’re still here? I’m seeing a lot of talk, but no action.”
I hold up my hand. “I’ll stay here.”
After a quick goodbye, Sol muttering something in Matthias’s ear that has their feet tripping over themselves to escape, I stare at the door for a few more minutes.
And then a few more, before I finally force myself into movement, slipping into the bedroom beside hers.
But it takes longer still for sleep to find me.
Chapter thirty-three
Selene
Istare out at the darkness, and the darkness stares back.
Sentient, a creature that has no end. Expectation weighs heavily on my shoulders. “I don’t know where to even begin.”
We sit at the edge of the world, my legs crossed beneath me. Ten years ago, I stood on bloodied feet only a few paces away from this exact spot. I stood on the edge of this dock as I screamed my rage at the Caelumnai.
And now, I sit here searching for a way to save them. I’m even dressed like them. Esme pulled trousers, a linen shirt, and a dark blue frock coat triumphantly from the armoire this morning—thankfully without any use of maegis, so there was no pretium to be paid.
Beside me, Callan stretches his legs out in front of him. The strange light casts his face into shadow. “Take your time.”
I tilt up my head, studying the sharp line that divides night and day above our heads. It truly looks as though the world ends on the border of Asteria’s land. Where the soothing sound of watershould be, there is only a heavy silence that settles in my ears, dulling any other noise. There is no salty tang that works its way up my nose, but an unpleasant, moss-like scent that I cannot place.
Barely three feet away, the Sea of Stars stretches out further than our eyes can see. There is nothing else beyond but this endless velvet blanket of thousands upon thousand of stars, terrifying in its vastness. The far-off sound of thunder rumbles, and I look up to that silent storm of dark, churning waves. Lightning flashes, and I swallow.
Breathing in, I try to empty my mind.
Try again.
