I know my role now, at least. What they expect from me. “How long before we reach the ground?”
Callan jumps back over the railing, intent in every movement. I take a step back, but he follows. His jaw tightens, fists clenching. “Gods damn it, Selene, stopbacking awayfrom me.”
There are so many emotions battling for space inside my chest that I don’t know which to address first. Some of them I wouldn’t even know how to give voice to. My voice is cool. Distant. “I understand your reasons.”
“Stop saying that,” he snaps. “It’s self-sacrificing bullshit, Selene. Be angry at me for keeping it from you. Shout at me. But don’t turn away from me.”
“I don’t understand what you want from me!” My voice raises then, high and trembling. “You keep looking at me likethat, and talking in riddles, and I do not understand you, Callan. You tell me there is a plan for me that I had no involvement in, and in the same breath scold me for agreeing to participate. What is it that youwant?”
“You just saved my life.” Bronze eyes glitter, swirl as he snarls the words. He takes another step, closing the distance between us as we face each other on the deck of a ship in the midst of an endless night. “Ifeltyou. I had one foot inside Ellas, Selene, and you pulled me back. You don’t do that for someone you barely know.”
“Interesting, since I’m apparently going to try to do it for thousands of people that I do not know at all.” I fight for air as his eyes threaten to steal whatever is left in my lungs.
His hands grip the tops of my arms. Not enough to hurt, but enough to hold me still, to stop me running. Callan leans in, close enough that I have to tilt my face up to his. Our breathing mingles.
His hands slide. From my arms, up. Past my shoulders, to my cheeks.
He cradles them carefully, as though he holds something precious.
“I dreamed of you,” he says roughly. “Every day and every night for ten damned years, Selene. And now you are here. Don’t tell me that this is a coincidence, you and I.”
“There is noyouandI.” My heart stumbles, and cracks.
His eyes turn flat. Muted. “Say that again, and mean it this time. Explain to me why I cannot seem to breathe unless you’re close. Explain why we’re here now, when every event that has happened should have made it an impossibility.”
The rough pad of his thumb drags across my cheek, his voice lowering until it’s as though he’s sharing a secret. “Tell me why you still smell like my soap, when the pretty bar you brought with you sits unused beside the bed.”
Every word that leaves my lips seems to drag. I force them free, try to force him to listen. “I have known many men—,”
The low sound that rumbles in his throat makes my knees weak. “Do not equate me withthem.”
I shake my head. “You see what you want to see, Callan. It’s happened to me before. I can’t… if you talk of emotions, of anything deeper than friendship, I don’t possess that capability.”
Even if up until this moment, I almost believe that I could.
Perhaps I have it wrong. The thought pricks at me, needles slipping beneath my skin.
“I don’t believe that.” Callan’s words are hoarse. “I know you think that’s the case, Selene. But I think you’re wrong.”
I’m almost numb as he takes my hand and presses it against my heart. I know he can feel it, just as I can. “A heart that beats as strong as yours is endless with possibility. Nothing about you is cold, Selene Amaris. Nothing. Whatever Hala did to your sisters, it does not extend to you. You burn so brightly with your emotions that it lights up every soul around you.”
My head keeps shaking. “I don’t deny that we feel—but we don’t feelthat. I know what you’re referencing, and it is impossible.”
“Do you?” I have the sensation of being trapped. Of arms closing around me, as he leans in. “Then tell me what I’m referencing, Selene. Because if you do recognize it, if you cannamewhat it is that I’m speaking of, then that’s proof enough for me. The pounding of your heart is proof.”
He inhales, his nose brushing my hair, and his slow smile claims my shivers as a victory. “The scent of me in your skin is proof. And the sheer number of stars in your eyes right now is proof, all of it. So I want you to explain to me what it is that I’mreferencing, and then tell me I am wrong. It will only prove me right.”
My lips part. His hands are on my back, against my wings. His thumb strokes down the centre, directly over the sensitive membrane. “I cannot think like this.”
He is too close.
His groan is quiet. “And I cannot think when you are around me at all. Say it.”
“Callan!” The shout makes us both stiffen.
He doesn’t look away from me as he shouts back. “Whatever it is, hold it.”
Sol’s voice comes closer. “I’m very glad you’re alive, Cal, and clearly feeling yourself, but if you two could hold off on whateverin Ellasthisis, for just a few damned minutes, there’s a ship that needs landing. We’re days overdue as it is.”
