Or I could tell him the truth.
I nod to the road ahead. “We should get going.”
My hands slip down to grip the worn edges of the seat as we get closer. The thick patches of trees on either side of us begin to spread out as the truck winds upward in tighter circles. My breathing comes a little faster, short pants that do nothing to help the dizziness in my head.
He’s not there.
Sweat prickles against my palms, drips down my spine and pools in the base of my back.
“Kennedy?” I hear Theo say my name.
I can’t look at him. I stare straight ahead, my spine rigid. Beneath me, the truck slows again. And Theo’s hands grip my face, warm against my icy skin as he turns me to face him.
Piercing green eyes invade mine. “Breathe.”
And then I realize…. I’ve stopped. Panic fills me.
“Focus on me.” Theo runs his thumb against my cheek. Lifting my other hand, he places it on his chest. “Breathe with me, okay? Small breaths, Kenny.”
I pull in the smallest bit of air. Let it out again, focusing on the beat of his heart. Unsteady, uneven, but strong.
“That’s it. Again.” His lips purse as he mimics my movement. “You’ve got it. Don’t worry about anything else. Just breathe for me.”
Our noses almost touch as we stare at each other. My shuddering breathing fills the cabin, underscored by Theo’s slow breathing as I work to match his rhythm.
As my breathing steadies, I pull back, clearing my throat. Theo stays where he is, his hands clenching on empty air. “Is that – thatpanic- because you’re coming up here?”
Tugging my eyes away, I focus on the road ahead. “I’m alright now.”
He doesn’t move. “We don’t have to do this now. We can come back.”
Incredulous, I glance over at him. “I thought you’d be racing up there.”
“Maybe I’m worried about what will happen when we get there.” His voice lowers. “Maybe I’m worried about you, Ken.”
My blink is slow. I can smell blood again, and I turn away, toward the window. “I’m okay. Keep driving.”
For a moment, I think he’s going to refuse. That he’ll turn the truck around and take me home, and it’ll be my last sight of him. But he sighs. “Let me know if you need me to stop.”
Theo
Something is wrong. Seriously wrong.
And the closer I get to that field, the more I can sense it. Beside me, Kennedy shrinks back into her seat. I wind the window down. “We need to stop, Kenny.”
Because I can fucking smell it. I can smell her terror, sharp and acrid as it fills the small space, and I feel like I’m about to lose my fucking mind over it. “That’s it. I’m turning around. You think I can’t tell that you’re absolutely petrified?Lookat me.”
Her lips are thin lines, her face bloodless as she turns to me. Terror is painted across every line on her face. And her fucking nose is bleeding again. Shaking my head, I pull over and drop my head into my hands.
I can’t think. All of it – every bit of pain, and grief, and anger – it all batters my skull, along with the fear-soaked, twisted scent of my mate. Fear of me, of this place, I don’t fucking know and I’m about to lose my mind over it. “God, this is fucked.”
A soft hand touches my arm. “Come on.”
By the time I pull myself together, she’s already out of the car. It’s not cold – nowhere near, the sun blazing overhead –but Kennedy has her arms wrapped around herself. She looks…small, and that’s never been a word that I’ve associated with Kenny at all.
But she gives me a small, shaky smile as we face each other. “You’re not forcing me to be here. We could have had this discussion at the house.”
It feels like I am.
