He getsme.
Jared hesitates. “I’ve always found you beautiful, Em. Not that – not that it matters. But I thought you should know that.”
My breath catches. “You have?”
“Always.” Gruff, low words.
Warmth rushes through my chest, the back of my throat prickling. Jared leans down, and I close my eyes as his lips press against my scarred cheek. “Ben was the luckiest man in the world on the day he met you.”
The warmth ices over in an instant as he uncurls himself from the bench, from me, and gets to his feet. Jared stares up at the sky for a minute, and I watch him, my heart thudding inside my chest.
It feels as if it’s tearing down the middle.
“Come on,” he says finally, turning to me. “It’s getting colder. You need to eat. I’ll walk you back home, make sure everything checks out.”
And then we’ll go to work.
He’ll walk me home after, strong and steady at my side, and say goodnight at the door.
Friends.
My stomach feels knotted. Heavy.
It feels an awful lot like regret.
Don’t think like that. He believes you.That’s what matters.
This isn’t a fairytale. I had one of those before, and I know how they end. This is life,reallife. Messy, raw, painful. Life doesn’t come with an ending wrapped in a cute little bow.
My arm brushes against Jared’s. He doesn’t offer to hold my hand again.
And I don’t ask.
As we walk quietly, lost in our own thoughts, I remember Ben’s words, murmured in his last few good hours.
I watched this movie once. Where the girl – she changed something at the last second, and it caused her life to split. Different choices, different lives.
Ben believed that there was another version ofus,somewhere out in the cosmos. Happy, healthy, and together. A lifetime to love each other instead of the few weeks we were given before the cancer stole him.
I’ve thought about it often since then. That other Ben and Emmy.
But a new thought sneaks in.
Because I can’t help but wonder if somewhere out there, there might be a Jared and Emilia, too.
47
Jared
The bar is busy tonight. Em and Carla are both rushed off their feet, several parties coming in and taking over the row of booths opposite the bar.
Adrian glares at me as he slithers past, but I only offer an apologetic shrug, holding up my hand.
Such a shame that I twisted my wrist earlier and have to rest it.
No playing for me tonight.
Not when Emilia is still pale, still nervous as she casts quick, assessing glances at the door and the crowd around us. Her eyes travel over faces, searching.
