My arms tighten. “You will. Not today, maybe. But there’ll come a point where you look around and realize that everything worked out the way it was supposed to.”
Once, I believed exactly that. When I needed to. When I needed the idea of something better, just around the corner. Now, they taste like a lie.
She loosens an unsteady breath. “I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Any other advice?”
“Appreciate the little moments.” For a moment, my mind goes somewhere else. But she stiffens, pulling back to look at me.
“Where did you get that… that phrase?”
My brows knit. “My teacher said it once. I liked it, so I started saying it too.”
“To Ben,” she whispers, and I nod slowly.
“Yeah. Sometimes the little moments are all we have.”
Something in her face has changed. She watches me more carefully now. “I’m sorry I said you were nothing like him.”
My arms are still around her. Clearing my throat, I drop them and step away. “Don’t be. You were right.”
Before she can say anything, I gesture. “Grab my arm. I’ll help you.”
She doesn’t argue with me this time. She holds onto me as I walk us slowly toward her apartment.
“Left here,” she murmurs at one point. I nod instead of saying anything.
She doesn’t need to know I’ve been here before.
Not when it doesn’t mean anything.
We reach her door, and she catches me scowling. “The super isn’t great. He’ll get around to it though.”
“Want me to speak to him?”
Her eyebrows raise. “Thanks. But… no. It should be any day.”
Nodding, I pull the door open. “I’ll get you to your door.”
“I suppose I should be grateful for your little stalking habit.” Her umbrella drips water everywhere as she closes it and we step inside. She pulls the strap to hang from her wrist so she can balance using the railing, her other hand gripping my arm as she hops up. “Ben hated me walking home alone too.”
I stare at the trash in the corners. The bare bulb that flickers on and off. “That sounds like him.”
We climb the stairs slowly, until she gestures. “This is mine.”
It takes her a few minutes to open the door, wrestling with the lock and then kicking at the bottom, wincing. “Okay. Thanks, I guess.”
I step back, shoving my hands into my wet pockets. We’ve left a trail of water behind us, both of us soaked. “You’ll be okay?”
“Eventually.” She almost smiles, the light from her apartment illuminating her in the doorway. “Little moments, right?”
Like dancing in the rain.
I clear my throat. “Yeah. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
35
Emmy
