I’m gripping onto his hands. “Ben…,”
“No,” he says fiercely. “Just… just listen. Because you’re still going to have all of that, even though I’m not going to be there to see it. You are the most important thing in my life, Emmy Marsters. But I want to be a footnote in yours. I want to be the guy you met on the way to your happy ever after. This is my ending, but it isn’t yours. You’re going to pick yourself up when this is over , and you’re going to behappy. Promise me you’ll do that.”
I only shake my head.
“Promise me.” His lips brush the side of my hair. My neck. “Promise me that you’ll love the little moments, Emmy.”
“Stop,” I force out. Turning away from the sea, I grab his face in mine. “Stop it.”
My heart pounds inside my chest. Because his words… They sound sofinal.
As if he’s saying goodbye.
And he’s crying. There are tears on his face, tears I taste as I slam our mouths together to stop him saying these things.
But he murmurs them against my lips instead, in between desperate kisses.
“I love you, Emilia Marsters. And there is not enough time in this world for me to show you just how fucking much.”
We still have time.
There is still time—
Lips on my cheek, tasting my tears. “I’m going to leave this world so fucking happy, Em. Happy that I met a girl at a bar like any other guy, and fell in love with her. But I need you to promise me that this won’t consume you when I’m gone.”
I can’t.
I can’t promise him that.
Because loving Benjamin Bennett feels all-consuming. As if nothing else matters.
As if losing him will be the thing that breaks me.
“Do the trial,” I whisper. “Please, Ben.Please.”
He sighs. “There’s no money, Em—,”
“I have money,” I interrupt. “Enough for this.”
Or I can get it. All it would take is one phone call, and a piece of my soul. But it would be worth it.
But he’s shaking his head. “And there is no time.”
He strokes my cheek, before he sighs. “Just… love me, Em. I don’t need anything else. But we’re calling the hospice nurse, so you can have some breathing space.”
I drop my head to his chest, then. “And Jared?”
He stiffens at the mention of his brother, as he always does. “Not yet.”
I straighten. “Not yet?”
Not ano. But anot yet.
Ben shakes his head. His arms are heavier around me now, and he doesn’t argue when I slip one around my shoulders and begin walking us back. “I… I fucked up, Em. I was so scared.”
“He’ll forgive you.” I glance up at his face. “But you need to call him.”
Slowly, he nods. “Maybe I will.”
