“It felt more formal. And then I realized that you had my heart, no matter what name I called you.” I wrap her in my arms. “Go on now. Create havoc, Em. See everything. Call me whenever you need to.”
Every day.
But I don’t ask her for that. We have our agreed check-ins. It’s enough.
I don’t want to restrict her.
She climbs onto the first step of the bus, turning to face me. “Love you, Jared Bennett.”
Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. She already is.“Love you more, Emmy Marsters.”
I follow down the side of the bus as she finds a seat next to the window. Emmy’s hands press against the glass. Her smile is shaky.
The bus starts to move.
I walk beside her. Slowly, then faster. She watches me, still mouthing the words.
I love you.
Until I’m running, trying to stay with her.
Until I can’t see her anymore.
74
Three months later - Emmy
It looks the same.
I drop my ridiculously heavy rucksack to the floor, staring up at my apartment building.
I expected it to feel different.
But maybe I’m the one that’s different.
Cool autumn air whips across my face. Shivering, I reach for my bag and start dragging it unashamedly across the ground by the strap using both hands.
My stomach begins to flutter as I press my fingers to the keypad and push my way through the door.
Same gray walls.
Abandoning my bag at the bottom of the stairs, I take them two at a time, racing up to the third floor. And then I stop.
Breathe.
My hand is shaking as I quietly fit my key to the lock and nudge it open, listening.
I can’t hear anything.
Maybe he’s not here.
Disappointment curdles my stomach.
So much for the surprise, Emmy.
Sighing, I slip in through the door.
I can’t work out what I’m seeing. Blinking rapidly, I lean back against the door.
