And every time he kisses me, I feel like I lose another little piece of me to Ben Bennett.
And for once, I choose not to worry about it.
4
Ben
Stop this.
Stop this.
Stop—
But I can’t.
I can’t.
I’m lost for Emmy Marsters.
We walk to her apartment quietly, her hand held tightly in mine.
Ignoring the aging security code on the door, she pushes it open. “Are you… coming up?”
I have to close my eyes.
I can’t look at her.
Because if I do, then I’ll go up.
“I can’t, Emmy.”
The words are ripped from deep in my chest. Because I want to keep hold of her hand. I want to follow her upstairs, and see where she lives, this quiet girl who’s so damn sad.
I want to make her happy.
You can’t make her happy, Ben.
So I let her hand slide from mine, feeling her withdrawal as if it were a physical touch. The walls that slide back up again, just when they’d lowered enough to let me in. “Okay.”
You’re the worst kind of asshole, Ben Bennett.
She’s staring down at the floor, her cheeks pale again. “Goodnight, then.”
I can’t leave it like that.
“Emmy…,” my voice is hoarse. “I’mleavingsoon.”
She lifts her chin up, facing me with glittering blue eyes that don’t mask the hurt. “I wasn’t asking you to move in.”
But her voice shakes. Because we both know that this could be more than one night.
This… this feels like it could be permanent.
“I want to,” I whisper. “It’s not that.”
She swallows audibly, backing away from me. “It’s fine. I’m going inside now.”
But Emmy hesitates, and so do I. I wonder if she feels it too. The sensation of somethingmore, slipping through our fingers.
