I never found out what exactly it was. But she never should have had a child.
I don’t remember a lot of my childhood. J and R found Emily after the fire to help me. There was no record of me anywhere.
Nobody ever knew I existed. Even my birthday is a random date, plucked from the air. A panicked response from River and Jenson when they realized it had been over a year since I’d been with them.
I didn’t even know what a birthday was when they explained it to me.
Briar’s eyes are wet. You don’t need to tell me.
But my hands keep moving.
It was always dark. She’d let me out at night to use the bathroom and eat, but she didn’t like me speaking.
My fingers skate over my skin.I learned to stay silent. And I never came out. Sometimes the space changed if we moved. She’d leave me until nobody was there.
I feel her hand slide under my shirt. She moves it up slowly, until her finger brushes the scars that cover my chest. “What made you come out that night?”
I hate thinking about that night.I didn’t know what I could hear. J… he wanted her to stop. And then there was a lot of shouting. The smell. It didn’t feel right. I opened the bedroom door and I couldn’t see anything.J woke up, and he carried me out.
“And you stayed,” she whispers, searching my face. “With him.”
I nod.It was the first time I felt safe.
I cup her face in mine, running my thumb over her cheek.
There is a lot of good out there too. I am not broken. Still here.
I am more than my beginnings. Jenson and River taught me that. But I’ve never truly felt it until now.
Because Briar doesn’t look at me as if I’m broken.
She pushes herself up until her lips meet mine. Soft, so fucking soft, just like they were in the car.
I’m more prepared this time. I capture her chin with my hand, tilting it until I can trace her lips with my tongue, tasteher.
Briar makes a needy noise in her throat, pressing into me, and I push my arm beneath her until I can spread my hand over her back, needing her impossibly closer as our kiss deepens, our breathing unsteady.
I don’t push for anything else, and neither does she. This isn’t about sex. It’ssomething more.
She’s still here. So am I.
That’s all that matters.
When the door opens, Jenson enters silently, his eyes moving to her. Briar moves to sit up, but he shakes his head. “Stay where you are.”
She settles back into me as he kicks off his shoes. Jenson crawls onto the bed, lining himself against her back with Briar still facing me.
He kisses her shoulder, pressing his lips to her skin. His eyes close. “You’re alright.”
Not a question. As if any other answer is unacceptable.
She lets out a deep breath, pressed between the two of us. “I am now.”
Briar
I’m too lost in my own thoughts to register the bell tinkling over the door.
Thoughts of Kai. Of Jenson. River, driving me home last night with my hand wrapped in his, balanced on his thigh.
