But I wish I’d been awake. A participant, even though the sight of me, unconscious and bare beneath them only stokes that need higher.
I just want…them.
Kai lingers at the edge of the bed for a long time, watching me. My heart leaps into my mouth as he lifts his hands, and my eyes prick.
I’m going to take care of you.
He’s so gentle, every touch a caress. But there’s a moment that he loses control, and my fingers trail down as I watch the screen.
I couldn’t—
I can.
I stroke my fingers over my heated, swollen pussy, even that light touch enough to make me shudder. I’m soaking, and I find my clit, rubbing it in increasingly frantic circles as I match Kai’s pace where he’s pounding into me on the screen.
When he slows, I do the same, even though that need is nowhere near fulfilled.
But I want to see.
Kai lays down beside me, wrapping his arms around me, nuzzling into my neck, his lips tracing my skin. And understanding threatens to break my heart as I pull my hands away, the feeling fading as I watch. He stays with me for a long time.
Except I’m not sure it’s for my benefit. Not completely.
I know what he wanted from this. From me.
I wonder if he got it.
River
Kai slides me another coffee. Both of us look as bad as each other – dark-eyed, shambolic messes, both of us shirtless and exhausted. I didn’t get any sleep, and I doubt he did either. Dark stubble he normally shaves off is creeping through on his face.
I haven’t seen Jenson at all this morning.
You think she’s watching?
I nod in response to Kai’s question. She might be up there now, watching us with her. Setting down my coffee, I scrub my face with both hands, sending up a silent prayer that she’s alright to whatever deity will spare a thought for a fucked-up man with no morals.
Because I want to do it again.
And I want her awake. Those eyes watching me, her voice filling my eyes as I buck into her.
One night wasn’t enough. Three nights definitely won’t be.
The creak from outside the door makes both of us startle, before it swings open. The coffee in my hand slips, and I swear as scalding liquid spills out, spilling onto my thigh and making me hiss even through my dark blue jeans. “Fucking hell.”
“River?” Briar darts past a gaping Kai, who clearly can’t work out whether to laugh or not as she pokes at my thigh. “Did it burn you?”
“No,” I croak. “I’m good. Just a – a little stiff.”
Kai chokes. Briar pulls back, and I drink her in. She doesn’t look psychologically damaged. “Forget about me. Good morning.”
It’s as though she suddenly realises, flushing lightly. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip before she backs up, glancing between me and Kai. “Hi.”
I watch in confusion as she gives Kai a long, indecipherable look. His eyes widen in what might be panic, especially as Briar walks up to him. His eyes meet mine, and I sign frantically.
What did you do?
I can’t see her expression. Only her back as she lifts up her hands. But whatever she says has the terror leaching from his expression, replaced by something… else.
