I know he’s tired of it. Kai wants the opposite of what I want, and yet we’ve found a way to meet in the middle. Even on a temporary basis.
River says nothing, his face contemplative. Then he sighs. “Kai is right.”
He’s already raising his hands as I glare at him. “Notabout the trophy part – and seriously, we need to do some work on your self-esteem – but we all have to be on board with this, Jenson, or it won’t work.”
“It’s a simple, temporary arrangement,” I say, my voice dry. “We’re not bringing someone on forever. I’m fine with it, I assure you.”
But if we can’t find the right person, it’s not going to happen at all.
“Why’d you ask them about their dynamics?” River’s brown eyes are darker tonight. He stretches, running a hand over the blond hair he keeps scraped back into a bun. “I was curious too, but you had a point to make there.”
I turn the beer over in my hands. “I had my reasons.”
Because I won’t allowanyoneto break what we have. Kai, River and I built this club back up from embers and ashes, clawed our way up and used each other as shields against the fucking chaos of the Diamond hierarchy when it nearly collapsed altogether in the aftermath of my father’s death.
We fought for this life. The men next to me aremyfamily. And I know from bitter experience the damage that a single woman can cause to the closest relationships. Damage it’s taken me fifteen long years to fix, and we still bear the scars. I’m not going to make the same mistake as those who came before me.
They are the family I chose.
Hatter’s words could be my own. River and Kai are my brothers in all but blood. I turn to Kai, the moody bastard glowering at the floor. “We do this together. That’s what we agreed on.”
One woman for the three of us. But not just any woman. One who can work with our…conditions.
River grins. He’s more than up for this. There’s not much the fucker hasn’t tried, and this unexplored territory has peaked his interest. He waggles his brows at me. “Any new leads? Mallory is skulking around again, you know.”
He’s clearly joking, but Kai’s face mirrors the disgust on my own. “I think she’s lost interest. She’s moving through the men here like a sushi counter.”
Not that we have that many in the first place. Less than a handful.
“They feel sorry for her.”
“Like hell they do.” No. They enjoy the attention she gives them – any of them, not caring which one - when she doesn’t get what she actually wants.
Namely,me.
I’m not up for fucking grabs.
“You need to get laid,” River mutters. “A-fucking-sap.”
Kai signs his agreement, nodding for emphasis.You don’t have to wait for us – for me- to find someone for the arrangement. I’m fine as I am. I’ve waited this long.
“Really?” I take a swig, letting the cool beer wash down my throat. “How many times are you fighting tonight?”
I brush his offer off easily. I’ve never had an issue finding sexual partners, but I’ve lost my appetite for it completely in recent months. Rope play may sound exciting, but years of staring at pairs of tied hands to make sure they’re not trying to touch me, years of fucking in the same position every time so I can’t see their faces… I’m tired. Bored, even.
“Four, isn’t it?” River cackles when Kai’s face tightens. “Do you still fuck your hand in between matches to take the edge off?”
Kai gives him the finger in response. River slips into signing as they bicker, his laughter filling the room, and I lean back in my chair.
I’ll admit – to myself, at least – that their idea is…appealing. No arguments. No expectations. A clear agreement, with set parameters and a start and finish.
Whoever she is, she’ll fit into our limitations and slip right out again when we’re done with her, richer in pocket and life experience and with a signed non-disclosure agreement.
Kai gets what he needs. River gets to try something new. And I can get laid without the poisonous thoughts that cloud every experience I’ve ever had. Without the fear.
It’s sounding better by the minute. “We haven’t found anyone? Not a single person?”
They both turn to me. Kai gestures.None that were right. It’s not exactly a usual set-up, is it?
