“You sure?” His voice lowers. “Anything make you uncomfortable?”
Sighing, I run my hand through my hair and lean back in my armchair. I’ve only just got here, taking a few hours this morning for averyinteresting visit with the doctor they keep on call.
Who keeps their own doctor on call? Someone who prescribes sleeping medication for sex?
Although the older, stern-faced but kind woman I spent my morning with didn’t seem too pleased about it. “She slid me a leaflet for a women’s help center over the desk while she was talking. Didn’t even miss a beat.”
Silence. And then River speaks, amusement still in his voice. “I suppose I can’t blame her, given what we’re asking. But I’m glad she’s looking out for you.”
“Do you…,” I stare up at the ceiling. “Have you sent her women before?”
“No.” His immediate response has the tension in my muscles seeping out. “You’re the first, and we’ve been working with her for years. She probably thought we’d brainwashed you.”
But she was thorough. We talked through the pros and cons of different birth control options, choosing a small rod for my arm that stings slightly beneath the dressing, and I had some tests done.
They’re having the same tests. As long as everyone’s results are negative, we won’t be using condoms.
It all feels soreal.
They’ve made sure every detail is covered. Things I would never have thought of. In the past week since I saw Jenson at the club – the memory still flooding my face with warmth – I haven’t seen any of them. But we’ve spoken. “So what now?”
“She’ll send us the report. No in-depth details, just a confirmation on if you’re healthy enough to go ahead and the results of the tests you had while you were there.” His voice turns teasing. “Anything you want to tell me now?”
I squeeze my eyes shut at the words that linger on my tongue. “No. Although I did have a severe iron deficiency when I was younger. My levels can still get slightly lower than normal, so I take tablets sometimes. I told her about it. I’m not taking anything at the moment, though.”
I wonder if the blood test will throw up an abnormal red cell count. I’ve never felt so tired as I have in the last week, my sleep well and truly disrupted by dreams that have me waking up in a trembling mess.
But I’ve never felt soexhilarated.
“Is there anything we should look out for? Any symptoms?” Any amusement disappears from River’s voice. “Anything you need us to keep here?”
Tension creeps back in. “No. I’m perfectly fine. I know my own body, River.”
My words come out snappish.
Silence. River’s voice is gentle when he finally speaks. “You absolutely do. So you’ll let us know, if there is anything.”
His careful sentence has my eyes closing.
“Sorry.” I bite down on my lip. “I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just – my father is overprotective because of it. Always has been. And I just… I don’t want that to influence what happens here. Not when it’s not relevant. I haven’t been truly ill since I was fourteen.”
“Noted. Let me know when you want me to collect the agreement.”
I eye it, scattered over my desk. I still haven’t finished it. Haven’t decided on my own limitations. “I’ll get it done today.”
“No rush. Take your time.”
When he’s gone, I stand and make my way to the desk, settling into my chair and tugging the forms toward me. They’re stapled together in an intimidating-looking package, and I take a breath before grabbing my pen.
The first few sections are easy enough. Some I’ve already done, like my health information as requested by the doctor. My emergency contact information, which I grimace at before giving my father’s details.
It had better be a life-threatening emergency.
We’re still not talking, the cold war helped along by the case he’s working on. I’ve only seen him a handful of times, had a few stilted conversations before he’s disappeared into the office he works in at home, or headed out to his firm.
And thankfully, it means I haven’t had to endure any more dinners with Philip, or his mother.
Flipping to the next section, I squint down at the list. My throat dries up, eyes widening as I take in the first few lines, each with a helpful little tick box next to them.
