“Shut up.”
Chess glowers at them both, but we’re interrupted.
“An excellent start,” Red’s voice rings out. “Do I sense some frontrunners starting to emerge? And some…interestingdynamics at play too.”
Her voice twists a little on the words before her tone evens. “Now therealfun can begin.”
She laughs as we all stiffen. “Come now. That was just a little warm up. Setting the tone, so to speak.”
She continues to ramble on, but I’m watching Hatter.
His throat bobs as he stares at the floor, his face still pale. He jerks as I step closer, sliding my hands over his cheeks, feeling his icy-cold skin. “Hey. You doing okay?”
His eyes flit to my ear. And he looks… devastated, those brown eyes deep pools of timeless whiskey darker than I’ve seen before. “No.Nothingabout this is okay.”
Even his skin feels clammy beneath my touch. I run my thumb over his cheek, repeating the movement until his eyes close, his hand reaching up to cover mine. “You’re right. None of this is okay. But also, none of this is your fault.”
His lips thin. “Except that itis. If I hadn’t left that damn ticket—,”
“I would have found my way here sooner or later.” I interrupt him with a shake of my head. “I wouldneverhave given up on finding Wonder, Hatter. You leaving that ticket behind, us meeting… it only means that I am not here, in this place, alone.”
And for a moment, I realize howgladI am to not be on my own, however selfish the thought is. How glad I am that I don’t have to choose, that they’re here with me and I have no say in any of it.
What a selfish, cruel, human thought to have.
My thoughts shift to Adam again. If he was here, he was here alone. He didn’t have Chess watching his back. Didn’t have Buck, with his dark humor and thinly-veiled concern hidden behind sarcastic comments.
And he didn’t have Hatter.
He had nobody to watch over him, to lean on, and the thought hurts my heart far more than any bullet ever could.
Hatter’s fingers trace my ear, bringing me back. The sadness in his smile tells me he knows I was somewhere else. “I’ve already hurt you once, Alyss Lidell. I don’t think I can do it again.”
Both of us, full of doubts.
“Well, I don’t think I could do this by myself,” I admit. A shameful truth, on a broken whisper. “So… I’m glad that we met, Hatter. And I’m glad that if I’m here, then I am not alone.”
He searches my face. “Yes. You have me, Alyss Lidell. For as long as I can stay. A penance, and a blessing.”
There’s no judgment in his gaze. No lie. Only a raw, open honesty that makes my breath catch in my chest. “Okay, then.”
But my brows draw down as I consider his words. A penance?
Hatter only smiles at me, one side of his mouth twisting up in a way that’s surprisingly boyish. “Okay then.”
His lips press against mine, soft and swift, before hands tug me away.
“Stop pissing her off,” Chess hisses in my ear. His hands grip my hips, pulling me into him.
I wince, wondering if it’s Red I’m pissing off orChess, but the iciness of the words that ring out around me tell me he’s not lying.
“If some of our participants arequitefinished,” Red says coldly, “Ourtimeis ticking away, so on we go.”
Great.
19 – Aiden
“Welcome to the caucus race.”
