“Is it so bad?” I wonder aloud. “To love them more than I love myself? Isn’t that what love is supposed to be?”
I never expected this. Never expected to findthis– these men, this family that I would give everything for.
And my daughter.
“I will not give her another mother to lose,” I whisper. My vision blurs.
I let my head rest against the side of Iliana’s chair and close my eyes. The only sound is my hitched breathing.
And it stops altogether, as a hand gently strokes across the top of my head. My eyes fly open, my mouth falling open before I close it. Unwilling to do anything that might make Iliana panic, that might throw her back into that still, silent state.
So we sit. And all the while, Stefan’s mother strokes my hair.
Comforting, as my tears flow freely.
Time slowly ticks away before the door opens again. Iliana’s fingers slip away from my hair as Stefan ducks in, a tray in his hands.
I offer him a half-smile. “Your mother is a good listener.”
His own lips lift, but his eyes are sad as he sets the tray down on a table close to us, leaning in to kiss Iliana’s cheek. “She is.Buongiorno,mamma.”
His hand cups my cheek, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. “V’Arezzo is an ass. But he loves you.”
I frown at him. “I need someone on my side here.”
He smiles at that. “I’ll always be on your side.”
I humph, but take his outstretched hand, letting him help me to my feet and stretching out my numb legs. “I know he does. And… he wasn’t wrong.”
“I know that too,” Stefan says quietly. “No time spent loving someone is ever wasted, Cat. And I see your face when you watch her. Youwantto be closer. If it was something else holding you back, that would be different. But you bothdeserveto have this time with each other.”
I slide my gaze to him. “He sent you in here, didn’t he?”
Stefan shakes his head. “He hasn’t come back.”
Twisting in my chest. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
Consider if the pain of being ripped from Alessia again is something I can take. Something I can put her through.
I wait as Stefan pulls the tray close to his mother. Her eyes flicker in my direction, just once. But she says nothing as we leave, and Stefan sighs. “She’s adjusting well, at least.”
I clear my throat. “Does she ever… instigate contact? Touch?”
He gives me a strange look. “Not that I can remember. Why?”
I stop in the middle of the hall. “She…I mean, it sounds strange, but… she stroked my hair. I was upset when I went in, and she just did it.” He stops a foot or so ahead of me, turning. “I’m sorry—,”
Stefan holds up his hand, his eyes bright. “Don’t. Don’t apologise. You’re sure?”
I nod, my stomach flipping at the hope in his face. “She stopped, though.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he breathes. “This is… it’s a good day, Cat.”
I slip my hand into his, squeeze it as we make our way back downstairs. “Good. What are you doing now? Because I could use a sparring partner. I just need to make a call.”
We’ve sparred together over the years, but not often. He nods. “Luc has a gym. Meet you down there?”
He brushes his lips against mine at the door before he withdraws. “I haven’t thanked you yet, I realized earlier.”
