Heads shake.
“He’s in his room,” Luc says, tipping back his beer and taking a deep swig. “I’ll put him some food aside if he doesn’t come down. For your mother too. She’s not coming down?”
Stefano jerks at the question Luc aims at him. “No. She… prefers the quiet.Grazie.”
My eyes slide back to Alessia. I watch her play with the pasta, with Dante’s watch. Her own eyes, bright green with vivid curiosity, move around the room.
They settle on me. And she starts to wriggle against Dante’s hold, her hands out.
I watch with my heart in my mouth as she slides from his lap, her hand wrapped around his finger as she uses the edge of the table to steady herself. And then she starts to move, determination in every wobbling step as she circles the round table, her finger slipping from Dante’s as he settles back into his seat and crosses his arms.
His eyebrow raises when I glare at him. Challenging.
Alessia rounds the square wooden table, and my arm flies out when she wobbles. She grips it with a toothy grin, pulling on it as she moves closer. And my heart… it squeezes, twists, as she reaches the edge of my chair and holds out her arm.
My daughter is a surprisingly heavy bundle in my arms as I carefully lift her. Sticky fingers immediately tangle in my hair, a hand on my cheek as she leans in close.
My throat bobs.
She settles against me, playing with damp strands of hair as Luc places steaming plates of pasta down. All of them try hard not to stare as I fumble my way around Alessia, pausing to offer her a piece of pasta that she accepts after scrutinising it.
“Does she… what does she have? Need?” I ask awkwardly.
Useless.
Bea would have known what she needed.
Luc waves his hand. A hint of color appears on his cheeks. “I may have gotten a little carried away. But I thought if she stays, she’ll need—,”
I straighten. “Stays?”
Dante straightens as well. “She won’t be able to come with us, Cat. Not until this is over.”
My hands slip around her, holding her. “Who?”
“My mother.” Luc taps his fingers against the table. “She’ll be back in a few days. She’d be delighted to have a little one around the house, Caterina. The staff will help.”
I stiffen, irritation curling through me. “Then it’s settled, it seems.”
And I hate myself, as Luc flinches. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t – it’s only a suggestion. If there’s anything else you want to do—,”
But there isn’t.
I should have thought about it. But Ididn’t.
Pull yourself together, Corvo.
I breathe in the sweet, soapy, tinged-with-tomato scent that lingers in her hair as she reaches for more pasta.
“No,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Of course she can’t come.”
Another separation beckons, for who knows how long.
I wonder if I’ll come back, this time. If I’ll ever have that time with her, to learn her, to learn how to be what she needs.
Alessia holds up some pasta to my mouth, and I snap my teeth at it. My hand jumps up to catch the back of her head as she throws it back, a loud, happy cackle of laughter before she offers it to me again. And my lips curve up, as I force that sadness down.
I will come back, I promise her silently.I’ll come back for you.
