I look down. “I wasscared, Silas. I was scared that you wouldn’t believe me. And I didn’t want to see the look on your face when you realized what I was.”
“A thief,” he murmurs, and I nod stiffly.
“But I did change my mind,” I say softly. “Even before you saw me. I was putting it all back.”
I’ll never forget the panic. Sheer, pulsingpanicas I tried to find the right places for everything, to shove things back into the right pouches, the right drawers, before my mother came, beforeanyonecame.
“I was coming to find you,” I continue, my throat dry as I stare down at the floor between us. “But you… you foundmefirst.”
And then everything fell apart.
Silas sighs. “I came after you, you know.”
My head snaps up. “What?”
His thumb massages my skin through my top. “After I – when the car pulled away. You were just out of sight, and I realized – I’d never run thatfastbefore. No matter how angry I was, the idea of losing you was… it was impossible.”
He laughs, soft and low and sad. “But I couldn’t run fast enough. And when I got back—,”
His breath hitches, and I watch the emotions flicker over his face. Pain. So much pain.
“What happened?” I ask, my heart in my throat. My voice drops to the barest whisper, dread washing through me as my body tenses under his touch. “Silas?”
“Dad,” he says quietly. His eyes flick to mine, and then away. As if he’s reliving the words as they fall from his mouth.
“He pulled up in the car, just as I got back. And when I told him what had happened, he didn’t believe me. So he ran up to his bedroom, but she’d already taken it. His wedding ring, and my mothers. Plus anything else she could get her hands on that was worth a damn.”
My hand nearly rises up to my chest, but I hold onto it, stopping the movement. Hold it with everything I have, even as the guilt rips through me like a damn wrecking ball, tearing my soul to shreds. Again. Now is not the moment to make this about me. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Silas.”
He shakes his head. “You didn’t take it. It took me a long time to realize it. Not until after you got here, really.”
I hold onto the words in my throat, waiting.
And Silas leans back. “And my dad… hedied, Stasi.”
The words sound wrong. So wrong and so abrupt, so final, that I shake my head, thinking I’ve misheard him.
“I don’t – I don’t understand.”
“Broken heart syndrome.” His hands drop from my waist. “That’s what they call it. It can be caused by extreme emotions. And his heart just – it just gave out. Right there, in the doorway to his bedroom. And we couldn’t save him. Me, Kit, Rafe – we all tried. And the twins didn’t even know what had happened with you. Not yet.”
I try to absorb what he’s telling me. “William died. The night… the same night it happened?”
Silas nods. When he looks up at me, though, his face changes. Softens.
“Stasi. I didn’t tell you so you could blame yourself.”
Blame myself?
I try to breathe, try to take in some damn oxygen, but I can’t.
They lost theirdad. William. Lovely, funny, generous,kindWilliam. Because of me, and my mother. Because we breezed into their home, in and out and taking anything we could with us on the way through.
How can I even compare what happened afterwards? When the loss in his eyes is my fucking fault?
They were right to blame me all along. If we hadn’t come here… William might still be alive.
“God, we fucked up your lives,” I breathe in horror. Silas’s eyes widen as I step back, and his arms reach for me again. But I back away, my breathing speeding up.
