That’s kind of her. Unexpectedly so. My face must say so, because David lifts his eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t expect that reception to be so welcoming in private,” he warns. “Helena and John are furious, and rightly so. I still don’t know what the hell you were all thinking.”
I look down at the table. “We weren’t thinking. We panicked, and we fucked up. We’re working on it.”
It’s a reminder that if Sienna chooses to go back, we won’t just need to prove ourselves to her, but to her parents and family. In fact, everyone in Navarre. We humiliated her at our first Mating Ceremony, and society doesn’t forget. They whisper, and gossip, and taunt.
My fist curls. I don’t want her exposed to that. I never did. But this is just one of the many consequences my Soul Bonded has to face for our choices.
I can see the same realization reflected in Logan and Gray’s faces. Gray in particular looks furious, his jaw clenched.
Footsteps sound behind us, and Tristan slides back into his chair. “She’s going to think about it.”
If we go back, we’ll be hit at every stage by judgment and whispers, and Sienna will take the brunt of it.
I’m not entirely sure I evenwantto go back. But I’ll follow her lead.
I always will.
36
SIENNA
Ishake out my hands as I pace up and down the small space in my room. I’ve got my green blanket wrapped around me for comfort, but it’s not providing much.
I can go home, but I might just have to leave again.
And if I go home, then the little bubble, that wall of protection that I’ve put up between me and the Cohen pack might just burst.
Everyone will be watching us.Everyonewill have an opinion.
My eyes scan my surroundings, landing on the nightlight that Tristan slipped into my room. The little wooden figures that sit on my nightstand. These men are starting to slip back inside that wall, but if we leave here now, it might crumble altogether.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
And then there’s the secret fear that I keep hidden, pushed down so far inside my heart that the Cohen pack can’t see it.
What if it happens again? What if I go back, and things just… slip back, to the way they were?
Alone. Abandoned.Neglected.Maybe they’ll just leave me to it and go back to their lives, and I’ll shrivel away in that horrible, open excuse for a nest, waiting for comfort that never comes.
The whine slips out, anxious and high, and I tug the ends of the blanket around me until it’s pulled tightly across my shoulders. Taking a deep breath, I work through my options.
The traffickers are still out there looking for me. Navarre would offer more protection and they won’t be able to get to me on that side of the wall. But Erikkson is out there somewhere, and we have no idea what he’s planning or if he’ll turn up.
Alicia is in a cell, but I have no doubt that she’ll be trying everything she can to get to the pack. I saw enough of her true colors to see that she won’t let go of them, especially Tristan.
My fists curl, and I keep going.
Everyone I know saw me humiliated at my Mating Ceremony. I was sheltered from it during the Trials for the most part, but I’d have to face them, their reactions and smirks. I know how this shit works. People delight in others misfortune.
We can’t stay here forever, even if Emmett is happy to have us. It’s not sustainable. We need a place of our own, no matter what happens with the pack. I want a home.
My throat aches, and I drop down onto the bed.
My family is in Navarre. Mama, Dad, Elise. All of us separated. But if I go back, there’s no guarantee that I wouldn’t have to leave again if the Council rejects my appeal.
I chew my lip. And this isn’t all about me.
