“I never, ever wanted you to feel that way,” I say hoarsely. “I tried so hard to fix everything, and I broke it instead. You deserve better than me as your Soul Bonded, Sienna. But I swear to you, you are my first and only priority.”
She sighs. “Until the next time, Tristan. You have a life in Navarre. A career. All of you do. How long before you decide that a life on this side of the wall isn’t enough? Until you leave again? What happens to me then?”
Shame curdles my stomach, crawls up my throat. She thinks we’re just going to abandon her?
“I will never, ever leave you again.” The words leave my lips on a growl. “Never. I will go wherever you are, Bonded.”
And as I say it, I realize that there’s no way I can leave her. Even if she despises me for the rest of our lives, I’m never going to stop working to make amends.
“Until—”
“I amyours, Sienna. I was yours the second I saw you on that stage.”
I take a deep breath. “I took what should have been perfect, and I broke it into pieces. Not just once, but over and over again. And I told myself that it had to be done. To keep my family safe, my pack,you. I didn’t know how to ask for help, didn’t trust anyone else to get involved in case it fell back on one of you. I know what my choices have cost. I see the consequences every time I look at you. And I will spend the rest of our lives atoning for them.”
I meet her eyes, the bright blue of her gaze muted. “I’ll let you rest. But I’m not giving up, Bonded. I’m fighting for you, the way I should have done all along.”
Her eyes squeeze closed. “Goodnight, Tristan.”
The door slowly closes with a click, and I swallow back the rest of my words. There aren’t enough apologies in the world, but I won’t stop giving them.
Turning, I settle down with my back against the wall, pulling out the notepad and pen I’ve been carrying around. I’ll respect her wishes, but she’s still not well. I’m not going anywhere and leaving her alone.
Never again.
30
SIENNA
My eyes fly open, hands flying to my throat.
Just a dream. But I can still feel the burn of my heat, the lingering embers of pain and lust and straight-up fuckingneed.
Sitting up, I reach for the water on my nightstand, downing the slightly stale glass until the dryness in my throat dissipates.
As I set the glass back down, there’s a creak from the hall. Frowning, I glance up.
When I don’t hear anything else, my eyes drop down, catching on a pale square on the floor. I creep out of bed, my hand reaching down to scoop up the sheet of paper and turn it over.
Bonded,
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always knew I’d take my father’s seat on the Council, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer, just like Jax. We were going to form our own band and call it The Trix – so it’s probably for the best that it didn’t work out.
T
My hands tighten on the paper. Turning, I open the drawer of my nightstand and grab a pen.
I was a little girl dreaming of dresses and handsome alphas.
Then I learned that dreams are just disappointments waiting to happen.
You didn’t want to be Council Leader?
Carefully, I feed it back under the door. My suspicions are confirmed when I hear another creak.
Grabbing my green blanket from the bed, I settle myself in the small gap next to the door. I wait for a few minutes, and a tendril of disappointment snakes into my stomach when there’s no response. I’m about to give up and go back to bed when the rasp of paper on wood sounds, and another sheet slides under to land next to my feet.
