“I – I am?” Somehow I expected more of a fight. “I mean, I know I am, I’m just surprised you’re agreeing with me.”
He falls into step beside me as we make our way to the truck, a familiar brush against my side.
“I’ve been going over everything in my head, the last two days. Where I went wrong.”
“I think we all went wrong,” I say softly. “I’m not saying I agreed with all of your decisions, Tris. But I understand them.”
His face twists. “I don’t think Sienna will feel the same, and I don’t blame her” he admits. “I can’t breathe, Gray. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. At the ceremony, at the house, the hospital. And then I imagine how she looked when Alicia handed over that fucking letter and I—,”
He stops, his breathing ragged. “I need to make sure she’s okay,” he says quietly. “Work through this Soul Bonded mess. And then… I don’t know, yet. But… I’m thinking of leaving, Gray.”
I stop abruptly, and he pauses next to me, his eyes flicking to Jax and Logan. Staring at him, I search for the right words.
“You what?”
Not the most eloquent, but I’m not sure what the fuck I’m supposed to say to that. Tristan half-smiles, and it’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
“I think you can make it work,” he murmurs, “with Sienna. But I don’t deserve her forgiveness, Gray. I lied to her over and over again and forced you all to do the same, and that’s not how you treat your Soul Bonded. She won’t forgive me, and I’m not going to try and force her into it.”
He looks down. “I’ve done enough of that already.”
My heart twists in my chest. Tristan is our pack leader. The beating heart of our pack.
Except… that’s not quite true. Not anymore.
I swallow. “I don’t want you to go.”
He looks ahead, his eyes sad as he takes in Jax and Logan talking. “I’m not going anywhere yet. Not until I know she’s safe. I’m guessing three Soul Bonded will be enough, but if not, I’ll be close enough to keep her healthy.”
Frowning, I follow his eyes. “So, what? You’re just condemning yourself to a life on the outside? Come on, Tris. Where the hell has your fight gone?”
He shakes his head. “It was my fight that got us into this fucking mess, Gray. I was so adamant I could keep everything going, and look how it fucking turned out. I’m not saying I’m definitely leaving, and not until I know she’s healthy enough for me to be able to do that. But if she can’t cope with having me around… it’s something we have to consider.”
Everyone piles into the truck, and I set the navigator to take us west. It looks like we might’ve missed a path somewhere, and apparently there’s a small community up there where our Soul Bonded could have ended up.
We have to drive around a mountain to reach the new place, and we drive slowly through the trees. There’s a few log cabins scattered around, but no sign of Sienna. I keep driving, looking for somewhere we might be able to leave the truck to head out and search.
Logan leans forward between the seats. “How about there?”
It looks like a bar, although what the hell a bar is doing in an area this deserted, I don’t know. I pull into the yard, parking a short distance away from the entrance.
We all get out, and I walk up to the entrance. It swings open before we reach it, and the beta male in the doorway stares at us. Not the most friendly welcome.
“Can I help you?” he calls.
“Yeah. We’re looking for a girl that might have come through here. She’s pretty distinctive, long pink hair. Have you seen her?”
He frowns. “We don’t get many visitors up here. Sorry.”
The faint sliver of hope in my chest dims again. “Right. Sorry to disturb you.”
We trudge back to the truck, the male watching us with his arms crossed. Sighing, I climb in. “Come on. We’ll drive back down, maybe stop off at those log cabins.”
13
TRISTAN
As we drive away, something twists inside my chest. “Wait.”
