When I can’t cope with it anymore, I push myself upright, bracing myself to hobble back down the stairs. I can’t stay in this barren, bland room for a minute longer, staring at my sad little stash and waiting for one of my freaking supposed soulmates to stick their head around the door.
Pausing at the doorway, I debate having a hot shower. I feel disgusting, all the grime from the last few days sticking to me like oil on my skin. But the urge to find Tristan, to confess that I can’t see myself going through heat with them and try and work out a way forward that doesn’t involve just rolling over and taking a knot – that feels like the most important thing I can do right now.
They need to understand that this isn’t going to work – unlesstheydo.
I’m not sure where I’m going. The kitchen is empty, so I work my way down the hallway, gingerly knocking on doors and pressing my ear against them to try and pick up some noise. God, the doors in this place are thick. I work my way down the hall until I finally pick up something.
I’m so focused on what I’m going to say and how to explain to them that I’m not comfortable with them being part of my heat that I barge straight in.
And I really, really wish I hadn’t.
41
GRAY
Stalking into Logan’s studio, I slam the door behind me hard enough to jerk Logan out of his focused stare. He turns to me, bemused. “Where’s the fire?”
“This,” I say abruptly, pointing between us, “is the fire, Logan.”
That he even rolls his eyes at me stokes the fucking flames in my chest. We’ve fucked everything up for the sake of our relationship. And I can’t even touch him. I hate the distance that’s opened up between us.
Fuck that.Thisis something I can fix.
His palette drops as I tug on his arm, and then my lips are on his, his face gripped between my hands as I devour him, pouring all of my frustration and need over the bruised omega resting upstairs, this soul-damned fucking clawing need for the man in front of me who’s been avoiding my eyes for way too long.
His mouth opens under mine, my fingers entangled in the messy waves of his blonde hair as we grapple. Logan shoves me away, his chest heaving. “The fuck, Gray!”
“I cannot do this,” I force out. My throat feels sealed closed, desperation clawing with nowhere to go. “I cannot do this, all of this, without you. Tell me that we are not done, Lo.”
His deep brown eyes narrow, and then he’s on me, yanking my arm around and shoving my back into the canvas. Wet paint sticks to my back, and I don’t give a fuck because he’s there, filling my veins with fire as he yanks my neck to the side, his mouth kissing up my skin a touch in a way that’s not even a little bit gentle.
I’m gasping when he pulls back, his lips puffy as he growls at me. “Get on your fucking knees, Grayson. Get on your fucking knees and suck my cock like a good boy.”
Yes.
My knees hit the hard ground of the studio with a thud, relief and hazy lust softening my bones enough that I don’t think I could stand now if you paid me. Logan is unzipping his jeans, pulling out his beautifully carved cock as he grips my chin.
“Open up, Grayson. Since you’ve missed it so much, I’m going to fuck your face, and you’re going to take it.”
My eyes close in euphoria as he pushes his way in, no finesse as he nudges the back of my throat. He’s all around me, his hands in my hair, grabbing the back of my head as he yanks me into him enough that I have to grip the back of his thighs. Logan’s pace is relentless as he pounds into me, giving me everything I need.
How could I ever give this up? Give him up?
He swells impossibly harder, his knot nudging my chin as he teases me with it.
“Should I knot your mouth, Gray? Hold you here, your mouth full of my cum. Fucking filthy.”
I groan, the sound reverberating around his cock as he ups his pace furiously. This is who we are. Stolen moments where we can be us, just Gray and Logan, the way that we want to be.
And stolen moments are all we’ll ever have.
Logan grunts, the barest hint of warning before his legs tense beneath my grip, hot pulses shooting down my throat. I chase every drop, greedy for every little hint of him that I can take. This moment will have to be enough for now. We’re risking a lot as it is.
I don’t take my eyes from his face. He watches me clean him, brown eyes lazy and half-lidded, a smirk on his face as he pulls away and leans down, drawing me into a long, slow kiss.
“Bad,badalpha,” he chides laughingly, and I push him back with a snicker of my own.
And that’s when awareness filters in, when he’s far away enough that I can finally take a breath.
